By: Courtney Boorman
How can you help someone without knowing what they need? How can you know what they need without asking them? How can you ask them what they need without actively engaging with them?
This line of questioning has been something we have been exploring in class throughout the first few weeks. Beyond the classroom, though, these questions have stuck with me as I have contemplated what “philanthropy” and “giving” and “serving” truly mean. Oftentimes, we approach philanthropy from the stance of “What can I do to make someone’s life better?” Is this a noble question? Yes, but it is not the only question. Inherent in the idea of giving and philanthropy is also the question of “How does this impact me?”
Philanthropy is active, not passive. It is active because it requires relationships– and not one-sided ones. Philanthropy is an exchange in which you give of yourself and receive something in return. Receiving something in return does not necessarily mean getting a new house like the one you just helped build for that family in need. Maybe it means getting a deeper understanding of the word joy because that family you just interacted with were some of the most joy-filled people you have ever met, despite their living conditions. Philanthropy requires relationships and the recognition that we are all part of the same community, regardless of our socio-economic status or background.
There is one particular idea that especially stuck out to me from what we talked about in class on Tuesday which highlights this idea of active engagement and relationships. It’s the idea of doing things with people, not to people. In his book, We Make A Life by What We Give, Richard B. Gunderman says:
“The Golden Rule does not authorize us to divide up the world into good people and bad people, us and them.….Instead, if we are really going to learn something about others and build a community of practice in our workplace, we should do things only with them, and never merely to them. The Golden Rule does not permit us to build walls between ourselves, the people we work with, and the people we serve.”
What does it look like to do something with people and not to them? It means learning about them and asking about their needs, not merely choosing what their needs are. It means working with them to find a solution, not merely handing one to them. It means serving from a posture of humility, working alongside rather than working from above. Ultimately, doing something with people and not to people means recognizing that as children of God, we are all members of the same community. We all have something to bring to the table. Once we begin to actively engage with the people around us, working with them and not doing things to them, we will begin to see the difference that service and philanthropy can make both in the lives of others and in our own.