[Editor’s Note: This summer we were blessed by the provision of some funds to pilot a concept we have dreamed about for a long time. Luke Ungarino, a veteran of our Philanthropy & the Public Good course and a Philanthropy Senior Fellow, is the holder of our inaugural Social Impact Fellowship, a Baylor-funded fellowship for highly motivated students interested in making a positive social impact through research, volunteerism, or the creation of a new social venture. Luke is working this summer at The House DC, an organization in Washington DC’s Anacostia neighborhood that works to provide hope and opportunity for area young people. This post is the first installment of a blog Luke will write for us about his work and experiences this summer. If you would like to support a future difference-maker in a Social Impact Fellowship, please email andrew_hogue@baylor.edu for more information, or donate to the Philanthropy & Public Service Excellence Fund here.]
[Editor’s Note #2: The following post contains some discussion of a sexual nature, but Luke has elected to include in service of his larger point– that this work with young men in Anacostia is messy, but it is also sacred.]
By: Luke Ungarino, University Scholars 2016
At this past Thursday’s “Life Session,” we celebrated the fathers of The House DC community in commemoration of Father’s Day, a day that brings a great deal of emotion for most of our kids. For those of you unfamiliar with The House DC, it is essentially a community center born out of an abandoned crack house on a street dubbed Murder Row. Its mission is “to provide an opportunity for inner city youth and their families to connect to Christ through creative programs that meet both physical and spiritual needs.”
Many of the kids who attend “The House” were abandoned by their fathers at birth or lost them to violence. In order to honor the fathers we do have, we invited members of the community to join us for Ms. Rita’s famous baked chicken, and showcased four fathers who have been especially active in the work at The House. Though it takes some effort to maintain jovial spirits on what is for many an emotionally confusing occasion, with Andrea as emcee and our showcased fathers taking seats of honor, the tone of the room was celebratory; gift baskets were distributed and words of praise were bestowed on those who have been shining models of commitment to their immediate families and The House family at large.
But little time passed before Andrea turned our attention to a more sober topic, asking the fathers if they would share some of their experiences of fatherhood both when they were growing up, whether with or without a father, and as a father now. Although many of our kids noticeably grimaced at this shift in tone, as the dads reflected on how they have been an engaged father for their children, our kids, particularly the young men, began chiming in as well. What started as jocular comments developed into thoughtful questions, which soon turned into a heavy, brutally honest conversation on relationships and family life. The fathers glowed as they reminisced on the blessings of fatherhood and shed some tears reflecting on where they might be if not for their children. They spoke practically about the difficulties of uncooperative baby mamas and the countless other sacrifices that raising a child might entail. The kids responded to these words with both laughter, somber admiration, and as a chance to be real. One young man, encouraged by his peers, exclaimed that despite his sexual activity, he has no concern for having unintended children. “Yeah, ‘cause you know….I know how to do it properly,” he stammered with some embarrassment to the room full of adults, toddlers, and children. (By “doing it properly” he was referring to what is typically known as the “pull out method.”) His comment sparked an open debate between several adults in the room and the young man on the effectiveness of the “pull out method,” which was silenced when an 11th grader pregnant with her second child informed the room (again, adults, toddlers, and all) that her last partner tried the pull out method and it turns out it does not work.
As I sat in the back of the room, stunned by the content of the forum before me, I realized that the gravity of the realities faced by these kids merits the frankness of this conversation. Just as no conversation topic is off-limits, when the well-being of one of their kids is at stake, the staff at The House do everything in their power to help. Sometimes, this means engaging in what would typically be an inappropriate topic when a teachable moment presents itself. Sometimes it means that you buy a meal for a hungry kid and not expect a reimbursement. The whatever-it-takes mentality at The House explains why Andrea just took a third child into her home who was effectively abandoned by her mother. And why La Wonda, the CEO, considers it a treat when she gets to leave before 6:30 in the evening– and only as a reward for working the weekend before.
In the last week I have witnessed similarly exemplary instances of selflessness among my co-workers. They set a standard that seems to demand heroic energy and could only be sustained by a love for those God has entrusted to them. I look forward to embracing that standard and participating in the infectious charity of this unique community.