Royals

(to the tune of Royals by Lorde)

I’ve never been an infection in the flesh

I put my DNA in amoebas of the Acanthamoeba genus

And I’m not proud of my assets,

With no ribosomes, only replication envy

 

But every virus is like sneezing, coughing, trippin’ in flu season

Weight loss, fever, look its AIDS,

We don’t care, we’ve got 1100 genes.

But virus is like fever, soreness, causing humans panic.

Headache, skin rash, infecting bacteria.

We don’t care, we aren’t caught up in their infection affair.

 

And we’ll never be royals.

It don’t run in our genes,

That kind of luxe just ain’t for us.

We crave a different kind of buzz.

Let me be your ruler,

You can call me queen Pandoravirus

And baby I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule.

Let me live that fantasy.

 

My friend and I—we’ve cracked the code.

We count our micrometers on the way to the amoeba.

And everyone who knows us knows that we’re huge like this,

We didn’t come from era.

 

But every virus is like sneezing, coughing, trippin’ in flu season

Weight loss, fever, look its AIDS,

We don’t care, we’ve got 1100 genes.

But virus is like fever, soreness, causing humans panic.

Headache, skin rash, infecting bacteria.

We don’t care, we aren’t caught up in their infection affair.

 

And we’ll never be royals.

It don’t run in our genes,

That kind of luxe just ain’t for us.

We crave a different kind of buzz.

Let me be your ruler,

You can call me queen Pandoravirus

And baby I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule.

Let me live that fantasy.

 

Ooh ooh oh

We’re bigger than they’ve ever dreamed,

And I’m in love with being queen.

Ooh ooh oh

Life is great without a care

We aren’t caught up in their infection affair.

 

And we’ll never be royals.

It don’t run in our genes,

That kind of luxe just ain’t for us.

We crave a different kind of buzz.

Let me be your ruler,

You can call me queen Pandoravirus

And baby I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule.

Let me live that fantasy.