On October 20, the Baylor Lariat posted an opinion piece entitled “Not Interested? Then don’t give him your digits” by Thomas Mott, the Lariat’s assistant broadcast news producer.
In this article, Mr. Mott encourages women “of our society today” to refrain from giving their numbers to men if they are not interested in dating those men.
According to Mr. Mott, “This is exactly the problem with our society today. Girls are too nice and do not know how to say that they are not interested. Why can’t girls just say no to a guy they clearly have no interest in instead of giving him their number and then not replying to his texts?”
Mr. Mott goes on to posit that women purposefully lead men on by giving them their phone numbers just to completely ignore these men later, or to further lead them on by offering such excuses as, “I’ve been busy.”
In his final call to all the women “of our society today,” Mr. Mott states,
“So ladies, next time a guy asks for your number, and you don’t want to give it to him, or he’s been talking to you for a while, just straight up tell him you’re not interested. Do not lead him on with facade that would make him think you are actually interested. He deserves an explanation. Yes, we will be upset at your bluntness at first, but we’d rather this than have you lead us on.”
If Baylor University had a tornado-siren-esque sexism warning system, red and white lights would be flashing, sirens would be blaring, and we would all be hiding under our desks with our hands above our heads, hoping these misogynistic ideals do not somehow worm their way into our brains.
The statement “he deserves an explanation” is, in itself, absolutely appalling. While Mott is completely correct in stating that it takes a lot of guts for a guy to go up to a girl he finds attractive and ask her for her contact information, by no means does this amassed gusto warrant an explanation from the woman in question if she turns the guy down.
Sorry dude, maybe she is just not that into you. Maybe she has heard your answers to questions in class and she is not impressed. Maybe she is already in a relationship or maybe she just is not looking for anything right now. Moral of the story: it is none of your business! By no means does she have to explain her decision to you.
Do you want to know why some women, or “girls” as you call them in your article, are “nice” to the extent that they will give their numbers to guys in whom they are not interested?
Women may be afraid of the backlash, physical or emotional, that they could potentially receive by rejecting the advances of these oh-so-gusty men! Why wouldn’t they be – with guys saying that they “deserve an explanation” – that this woman, who he does not know, somehow owes him something. In fact, Mr. Mott states, “We will be upset at first,” as if this anger is somehow warranted. As a man who occasionally asks for digits, I do not appreciate being lumped into this “we will be angry” nonsense. This attitude is a problem with “society today,” not the women who refuse to bruise fragile egos in observance of their own safety.
Is it not more appalling that the Lariat Staff edited and approved this opinion piece? Is it not more appalling that this blatant act of sexism was published on a Baylor-sanctioned news source? To me, as a feminist but even more so as a person with a conscience, I am horrified.
Women of Baylor and the world, I would advise that if someone asks you for your “digits,” whether it be woman or man, if you are not interested, you handle the situation however you please. You do not owe anything to anyone.
To read the article that will set off your sexism-alert for a whole month, click the link below:
http://baylorlariat.com/2015/10/20/tell-him-the-truth/
Lee Shaw is a sophomore BIC student majoring in professional writing and is the current editor of the QuickBIC.