So my “check engine” light came on last week. I hate the “check engine” light. I hate it because it doesn’t really tell you what’s wrong, just that something is wrong. It wasn’t blinking, which is worse because then the engine is telling you that you are in imminent danger of blowing the hell up if you don’t pull over and stop. This was just the steady amber that indicates that something is wrong. It nags you into taking the car into the shop because it is a mystery. That little yellow light tells you nothing, and is an enigma wrapped in a mystery enclosed in a conundrum. You, average driver and normal person, do not understand the mystery of the amber “check engine” light because you have not been inducted into the secret society of auto mechanics that check engines. On a few occasions I have noticed that if you don’t put the gas cap on correctly, this will act as if there were a leak in the fuel system and the “check engine” light will come on. I checked my gas cap, and it seemed to be acting funny, but the light did not go off. I went to the garage yesterday and they kept the vehicle for over five hours. Finally, they called and said, “You gas cap is broken and won’t seal properly.” But they didn’t have a new gas cap and had to overnight one from someplace. I went back to the garage and picked my car up–I had errands to run. All of this is very mysterious. Where was the new gas cap coming from? How could they get one “overnight”? They removed the “check engine” light. Today they called, “Come in at one and we’ll fix it.” So I did. Now my “check engine” light is off, my life is back to normal, and all is right with the world. Actually, none of that is true except that the “check engine” light is off. On all other accounts, my life is just as chaotic as ever. Does life have a “check engine” light? I know life has no gas cap, or anything that is even the least bit metaphorically a gas cap. Maybe I don’t even want to think about that. Here’s hoping that your “check engine” light does not come on, not now, not ever.