Humorous songs about love and relationships have been entertaining audiences for a long time. Turn of the century musicians, such as the ones below, were adding laugh worthy lyrics to their songs about love long before Billy Ray Cyrus wrote “Achy Breaky Heart.”
Title: Reuben and Rachel Comic Duett
Composer: William Gooch
Publisher: Boston : White, Smith & Co.
Date: c1871
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What’s it about?
No one loves Rachel so she wishes all the men were transported far beyond the Northern Sea. Reuben, however, wishes there were more young ladies. Turns out they were just fooling each other and end up getting married.
Lyrics:
“Reuben, I have long been thinking,
What a good world this might be,
If the men were all transported
Far beyond the Northern Sea.
Rachel, I have long been thinking,
What a fine world this might be,
If we had some more young ladies
On this side of the Northern Sea.”
Video courtesy of YouTube. All rights reserved.
Title: Little Annie Looney Parody [Little Annie Rooney]
Composer: Michael Nolan
Publisher: Philadelphia : M.D. Swisher
Date: c1890
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What’s it about?
This is a parody of the popular song “Little Annie Rooney” about Joe and how happy he is to soon marry his sweetheart, Annie. In the parody, the couple is already married and Annie is a total lunatic.
Lyrics:
“You’ve heard the Annie Rooney song.
And how her Sweetheart’s name was JoeBut have you heard his sad fate?
He’d married Annie Looney.
He dare not call his soul his own.
And at his head a flat iron’s thrown,
If after dark he dare come home,
And wake up Annie Looney.
Joe’s in hard luck,
He’s in “pound”
He wears straw hats,
All year ’round,
He’s got Annie,
But she’s the “Boss”
And Joe hasn’t a cent
to get a divorce.”
Title: Eve Cost Adam Just One Bone
Composer: Charles A. Bayha (Charles Anthony)
Publisher: New York : Skidmore Music Co.
Date: c1921
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What’s it about?
Adam was lucky because he only had to give Eve one of his rib bones, which the singer believes he couldn’t get away with anymore, because ladies love the finer things in life.
Lyrics:
“Ev’rybody knows the story
How Adam gave his rib for EveEv’rybody thinks it’s awful
The way she caused poor “Ad” to grieve
But I’ve thought the matter over
And here’s the reason why
I’ve come to this conclusion
Adam was a lucky guy:
Eve cost Adam Just one bone
But he couldn’t get away with that today
He never had no sealskin coats to buy
And there were no millinery bills to pay
She caused him trouble
And he got the weary blues
She liked to raise a little
Cain that is a fact
But she only cost him
Just one bone
And you can’t expect too doggone much for that.” Video courtesy of YouTube. All rights reserved. Title: Gee! Ain’t I Glad I’m Single
Composer: Melville Gideon
Publisher: New York : Maurice Shapiro
Date: c1908
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What’s it about?
The singer believes marriage is the worst thing ever. This song shows his distain towards the topic.
Lyrics:
“Gee! Ain’t I glad I’m single!
Gee! Ain’t I glad I’m free!
Go, when I feel like going,
Stay, when I want to be.
I am tied up to no one,
No one keeps tabs on me,
Gee! Ain’t I glad I’m single!
Gee! Ain’t I glad I’m free!”
Video courtesy of YouTube. All rights reserved.
Title: Bronco Buster
Composer: Dorothy Jardon
Publisher: New York : Shapiro Music Publisher
Date: c1907
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What’s it about?
Bronco Buster, or Bill, and Bronco gal appear to be too shy to tell each other how they feel. After the crowd entices Bill to go kiss her, she whips out a forty-four and makes Bronco Buster take them to the parson, who she threatens to shoot if he doesn’t marry them.
Lyrics:
“Bronco Buster!
Why, don’t you trust her?
Go on lassoo her,
Somebody else will woo her,
She’s no shy goose,
Jump on your cayuse,
And carry her off to Denver town.”
Video courtesy of YouTube. All rights reserved.
Title: Here Come the Married Men
Composer: Earl Carroll
Publisher: New York : M. Witmark & Sons
Date: c1915
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What’s it about?
A classic song about adultery.
Lyrics:
“Here come the married men,
Here come the married men,
Just see them smiling when
They say, ‘Goodbye,’
They know the fighting life,
They’ve had to fight a wife,
They’re goin’ to lose their wives,
If they have to lose their lives!
They look so brave and true,
Oh, yes indeed they do,
They have that wink or two,
That makes me say,
If ev’ry married man,
All through his married life,
Was just as true to his country
As he is to his wife,
Heaven help the U.S.A.”
Title: The Rest Goes Home to My Wife
Composer: Louis Silvers
Publisher: New York : Jerome H. Remick & Co.
Date: c1916
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What’s it about?
The singer gets paid, spends it all, spends some more and then gives nothing to his wife.
Lyrics:
“I’ll buy a green hat,
And a purple cravat,
And a pair of those gray upper shoes.
I’ll get a new coat for a two dollar note,
And I’ll hold out a dollar for booze.
I’ll just get a box of those lavender socks,
The kind that I’ve craved all my life,
And if I ain’t broke,
I’ll get something to smoke,
And the rest goes home to my wife.”
Well done, old chap!