Monthly Archives: December 2013
So true
10 Reasons Texans Hate Cold Weather
Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
”Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.” Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.”
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
“Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.”
Daily Quote
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
-Zig Zaglar
Vines :)
If you haven’t already heard of the “Vine” craze, vines are 7 second long videos about nearly everything. There are many funny and cool ones out there. You can either watch them on YouTube or on the more direct Vine App. A link to download the app will be in the “Fun Links.”
Little Dose of Fun
“Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see, but only you can feel its warmth.”
– Unknown
He nailed it… :)
Cool Website
Most of us have heard of the popular FML site, which can be funny. But instead of that, check out the LGMH site! It stands for “Love Gives Me Hope,” and it consists of contributed stories of how someone’s love inspired them.
Here’s the link: http://love.givesmehope.com/
This link can also be found on the the ‘Fun Links’ tab. 🙂
Heroes :)