Book Review: Writing Past Dark: Envy, Fear, Distraction, and Other Dilemmas in the Writer’s Life by Bonnie Friedman

by Kristin Huggins, Consultant

Bonnie Friedman is a novelist. From the very first pages of this book, it’s apparent she has spent countless hours living in this creative headspace. Her descriptions bloom into metaphors, and those metaphors are rife with brilliant, complicated allegorical truths of writers and the difficulty of writing. It’s all very literary, if you please.

But what Bonnie speaks to with utmost clarity is that writing is nuanced. It is hard. It can make you question your sanity not only as a professional but as a human being. Through this book, Bonnie anchors these challenges in a way that makes you feel connected with all writers, no matter their proficiency or discipline. That we are not alone in this process.

Here are the main takeaways from this text:

First: Writing is terrifying, even to those who love it. In my undergraduate (and even graduate) coursework, writing was a task I studiously avoided at all costs. I felt that because I was not one of the blessed (i.e., an English major), I was not qualified or gifted enough to write with any authority. Bonnie takes this twisted, albeit common mentality and slaps it out of the air. “We are afraid of writing, even those who love it. And there are parts of it we hate. The necessary mess, the loss of control, its ability to betray us, as well as the possibility that what we write may be lousy, it might just stink…” (pg. 15). In this, Bonnie assures all who come to the altar of writing that each of us will face barriers and challenges. The fact that we hate parts of the process does not make us any less of a writer or devalue our work.

Second: Accolades and theoretical frameworks count for nothing in the face of a writing deadline. Writing doesn’t care how many post-nominal letters follow after your name. Writing doesn’t care how many classes you’ve taught as a TA. Writing doesn’t care how brilliant your theoretical framework is and how it perfectly situates your research questions within your qualitative study. It is the Great Equalizer. “Phi Beta Kappa counted for nothing here. One of the finest writers was a shaggy man without college who said he slept in a tent pitched in his living room… He spoke his stories into a tape and he paid a secretary to type them” (p. 51).

Third: More words do not equal a better manuscript. This is a particularly hard pill to swallow. When you finally dip your toe into the writing waters and are surrounded by more experienced, bigger fish, all you hear are “writing sprints”, “word count checks”, or “hitting your daily word goals”. It seems obvious that better writing is synonymous with more words. False, cries Bonnie, who also fell prey to this addictive mindset: “I wrote the same thing over and over because I didn’t trust it had communicated. And I thought, the more words the better. People read because they enjoy reading. Wouldn’t they enjoy reading more words?” (pg. 50). This hits at the crux of the issue: trusting in yourself as a communicator and trusting that your words do the job justice.

At times, this book can be difficult to get through as an academic. While Bonnie’s writing is beautiful and fragile and lyrical, this is not the traditional academic way. After all, aren’t we expected to present our writing with a prodigious level of conciseness, wrapped with a bow of footnotes, in-text citations, and proper indentations? Get to the point. What is the problem? Who is your audience? Too much fluff here. Take these four sentences and say them with one.

However, Bonnie would encourage you to step outside your academic context and see writing for what it truly is: the effort of humanity to communicate with one another despite fear, envy, or doubt. Embrace the imperfections, and let go of the all-consuming inner narrative that tells you you’re not good enough.

Happy writing, dear readers.

Instrument Hunting: How Ed.D Students Can Find a Dissertation Instrument without Losing Their Minds

by Alicia Briançon, Consultant

Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash

Trigger warning: If you spent weeks trying to find the “right instrument” only to find out it doesn’t exist (like me), then this may induce feelings of anxiousness. 😫

Let’s set the stage: You are typing away into the night to develop your purpose and problem statements for your dissertation and decide that the magic answer to your research design question is, “Yes, absolutely! This is going to be a quantitative study.” Awesome! You meet with your advisor and tell them the news and you think you’re going to just create your own because what you want to measure doesn’t quite exist already and you’re sure you can validate an instrument, because, to quote Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, “What, like, it’s hard?” You’re already knee-deep into your rigorous doctoral program and feel confident in your abilities. While meeting with your advisor, they explain that creating an instrument is in and of itself a “completely separate dissertation.”

By this point, you are feeling slightly defeated, but as we know, academia is a series of high and low points, and this too shall pass. So, where does one find an instrument? Good thing we have the Baylor library and expert librarians!

First, you need to determine what exactly you want to measure. This may seem simplistic in nature, but it is necessary. In the Ed.D program, we are encouraged to select an instrument before tackling other portions of our paper because it is central to the data design and data collection. In some respects, the instrument frames your entire dissertation. It can be helpful to see what other researchers used the same test or instrument in determining how you will apply it to your own.

There isn’t a formal process for finding the “perfect instrument.” However, the library commonly recommends two databases as starting points, which are APA Psych and Education Resources Information Center (ERIC). The easiest way to find these databases is by searching by keyword under the databases tab on the Baylor University Library Website.

It is best to start with a broad topic and narrow it as you continue. Interestingly, there are three different versions of ERIC, but EBSCOHOST has advanced features and is education related. After scrolling down the page on the right-hand side there is a box titled ‘publication type’, and as you scroll you will see ‘test/questionnaire.’ Or, under EBSCOHOST you can put the name of the test in quotation marks with no other limitation and the exact name will be searched in all metadata.

Yes, you can use OneSearch to investigate journals, dissertations, books, e-books, etc., but there are less advanced searches with this path. It is your choice, though!

According to Amy James, the Director of Information and Instruction at the Baylor Library, “Many times, students know the name of the test in an article but can’t find the actual instrument, which is vital to your research. It is not enough to find an article that mentions your instrument of choice.” In the Appendices, you will have to include a copy of the real thing. It is rare, occurring only three times in three years, but if the instrument isn’t found internally then Dr. James goes to Google to hunt it down. Sometimes, the author will let you use their instrument for a small fee or ask that you attend accreditation training. There are benefits to this avenue if you plan on conducting additional research in the future. Also, it looks really cool on your CV and LinkedIn profile, right?!

I asked James if the reason why the instrument can’t be found is if the original author wants to make a profit or the instrument is just very new. She said, “it could be because the instrument is new, or it isn’t part of the current library paid package.” Again, while this is atypical, it is still good to know all the possible outcomes.

Know that you can always place a request with OSOFast, the interlibrary loan request system, which will search other institutions. The sky is the limit. OSOFast requests are sometimes addressed internationally too.

The moral is, don’t panic if you don’t know how to find an instrument. Now, you have some basic first steps and an entire library ready and willing to help you with your research goals, including finding the best instrument or test.