If you have read my recent blogs you know that one of my guilty pleasures is watching the reality show Bachelor in Paradise. Yes, I realize it is not a quality show, but it takes about two brain cells to watch, and after a day of work and school that’s all I have left. In case you don’t know, the premise of this show is a whole bunch of people from previous Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons are on a beach dating each other. Each week some people go home and new people come on. This past week, one of the new girls that came to the beach was Pieper. There had been some rumors about her earlier on the beach that she was dating someone already there, Brendan, but those rumors got squashed by Brendan pretty quickly. Well, we find out when she comes to the beach that she and Brendan are dating and just came on the show for the clout. Even worse, Brendan had pretended to be in love with another girl so he could stay on the beach long enough for Pieper to get there. Like I said, not a quality show. Brendan was then caught in a lie. His story lived was very different than his story told. 

The Coordinated Management of Meaning Theory (or CMM as you will see me refer to it as) has multiple claims to it, but we will be focusing on the second claim:  there is a  “two-sided process of stories told and stories lived” (Griffin 67). This claim also states that the stories we tell differ from the stories we live. This means, we can essentially create different truths depending on the stories we tell. Furthermore, Griffin talks about coherence, “the making and managing of meaning” (67). We can create meaning with our stories told and our stories lived. For example, I could tell my parents that I got a B on my test because the test was really hard. I also did not study a lot for the test. My story told would be that the test was hard, which is true. My story lived would be that the test was hard and I did not study well for the test. The Griffin states that this theory believes “communication is a constitutive force” that shapes everything” (65). This means communication shapes what we believe. We can tell our story told and believe it, even if there are other factors influencing us.

Let’s go back to Brendan and Pieper. Brendan was on the beach telling everyone that he and Pieper only hung out two times and what they had was very casual. Story told. We later find out that he and Pieper were full on dating and hung out a lot, including the day he left for the show. Story lived. Not only was Brendan telling people his story told to stay on the show longer, he was telling it to reassure another girl he liked her. The coherence for Brendan and the other girl, Natasha, looked completely different. The meaning Natasha created from Brendan’s story told was that he liked her and they were potentially going to start a relationship. The meaning Brendan created from his story told was he was guaranteed another rose to stay on the show long enough for Pieper to get there. Stories told and stories lived are not always deceitful or intended to be that way, this example just gave a clear-cut analogy to easily analyze the difference.

Below is a clip of Pieper first arriving to the beach:

Works Cited:

Griffin, E. A., Ledbetter, A., & Sparks, G. G. (2019). A first look at communication theory. McGraw-Hill Education