By Raelyn Curiel

Before we can discuss how you can help your child learn social skills at home, we first need to make sure we know what social skills are and why they are important to teach to children. Put simply, social skills are the skills we use to appropriately communicate and interact with one another (Grover et al., 2020). Social skills can differ between cultures since they are established based on what a culture believes is socially appropriate and acceptable (McKay et al., 2009). Though we may learn different social skills depending on our culture, we all learn social skills through our interactions with others and with the world (McKay et al., 2009). Some examples of social skills include making eye-contact when speaking with someone, engaging in active listening when someone is speaking, and respecting personal space preferences (McKay et al., 2009).

Why are social skills important?

            Social skills are very important to learn since they are skills we will have to use throughout our lives. They guide us in engaging in appropriate interactions with different groups of people in many different settings (Grover et al., 2020). As children, they help us to engage in play and conversation, develop friendships, express needs and emotions, and solve problems (Grover et al., 2020). However, as we know, children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) usually have trouble learning and using social skills on their own because they may have difficulty reading non-verbal cues, understanding the perspectives and feelings of others, and engaging in structured conversations (Dogan et al., 2017). Thus, children with ASD may need more explicit instruction and practice with social skills than other children (Dogan et al., 2017). As with many types of skills, it is important that social skills are taught to be generalized, or used across settings with a variety of people (Dogan et al., 2017). This is why it is important for parents to reinforce social skills at home. It provides children with more practice with social skills and an understanding that social skills can and should be used across settings with different groups of people.

What Can Parents Do to Help

Now that you know what social skills are and why they are important for your child to learn, let’s talk about what you can do to help teach or generalize these skills in the home setting.

• If your child is enrolled in some sort of social skills group, ask the group facilitator what is being taught and how you can help reinforce these skills at home. The research shows that children make significant improvements in social skill knowledge and usage when parents are involved in the process (Laugeson et al., 2009).
• Model, explain, practice. If you are wanting your child to learn a particular social skill, it is important that you are able to model, or demonstrate, how you do that skill. If you aren’t comfortable doing this, you may choose to use video-modeling to teach social skills instead. There is evidence to support that showing children a video of someone engaging in a skill and asking them to imitate it has a positive effect on their knowledge and usage of social skills (Acar et al., 2017; Wang & Spillane, 2009; Barnett, 2018). Once you have modeled the skill or used video-modeling, you should explain to your child why it is done a certain way, why it is important in social interactions, and clarify any questions they might have. The last, and arguably the most important, step is to practice. Practice can include things like practicing turn-taking during play or using role-play to allow them to practice with the new skill you’ve been helping them learn.
• It can also be helpful to talk through realistic social scenarios your child may encounter. You may be able to generate your own ideas based off of experience, or you may choose to play off of your child’s interests. For example, you could use stories or movies that your child really enjoys as a teaching opportunity if the characters are engaging in appropriate social skills. There are also social stories available online for free and for purchase that use social scenarios to teach these skills as well, and there is evidence to support the use of these social stories in teaching social skills to children on the spectrum (Acar et al., 2017; Wang & Spillane, 2009). Free-play and board games can also be used as teaching opportunities for social skills as well.
• Consider providing your child with tools to engage in structured social interactions. This may include providing them with scripts that guide them with what to say in certain situations if they are unsure or providing them with a few different options on how they can choose to interact in a social situation appropriately (Barnett, 2018).
• Lastly, it is important to reinforce and encourage positive behavior during this process and celebrate your child’s accomplishments. Learning social skills can be a difficult and confusing process for some children on the spectrum, so it’s important to provide them with rewards and encouragement, when possible, to let them know they’re doing a great job!

References

Acar, C., Tekin-Iftar, E., & Yikmis, A. (2017). Effects of mother-delivered social stories and video modeling in teaching social skills to children with autism spectrum disorders. The Journal of Special Education, 50(4), 215-226.

Barnett, J. H. (2018). Three evidence-based strategies that support social skills and play among young children with autism spectrum disorders. Early Childhood Education Journal, 46(6), 665-672.

Dogan, R. K., King, M. L., Fischetti, A. T., Lake, C. M., Mathews, T. L., & Warzak, W. J. (2017). Parent‐implemented behavioral skills training of social skills. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 50(4), 805-818.

Grover, R. L., Nangle, D. W., Buffie, M., & Andrews, L. A. (2020). Defining social skills. In Social Skills Across the Life Span (pp. 3-24). Academic Press.

Laugeson, E. A., Frankel, F., Mogil, C., & Dillon, A. R. (2009). Parent-assisted social skills training to improve friendships in teens with autism spectrum disorders. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 39(4), 596-606.

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The communication skills book. New Harbinger Publications.

Reichow, B., & Volkmar, F. R. (2010). Social skills interventions for individuals with autism: Evaluation for evidence-based practices within a best evidence synthesis framework. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 40(2), 149-166.

Wang, P., & Spillane, A. (2009). Evidence-based social skills interventions for children with autism: A meta-analysis. Education and Training in Developmental Disabilities, 318-342.