By Caroline Blach

What is a calm-down corner?

A calm-down corner, also referred to as a safe space, quiet corner, chill zone, etc., is a dedicated place that a child can retreat to within the home whenever they’re feeling overcome by his or her emotions. Calm-down corners have become increasingly popular additions to many school classrooms, though can easily be adapted for inclusion in the home setting (Maich et al., 2018). The calm-down space is intended to be safe for a child to visit when he or she “is feeling overwhelmed, stressed, angry, or otherwise out of control emotionally — times when being alone would be helpful” (Lantieri, 2008). The area encourages the child to engage his or her mind, calm his or her body, and release big emotions in a safe and controlled manner. The space often contains calming materials and activities, comfortable seating, and relaxing music or sounds, if available.

Are calm-down spaces beneficial?

Dr. Donna Housman, clinical child psychologist and founder of the Housman Institute, notes, “when used effectively, a calm-down corner can fulfill your kiddo’s need to have some time away while providing and promoting a sense of independence, responsibility, and achievement” (Perry, 2020). One of the most notable benefits of using a calm-down corner is that it “teaches [children] improved self-confidence, independence, and self-insight” (Perry, 2020). After repeated encouragement to spend time in the calm-down corner, your child will begin to recognize when he or she is starting to feel out of control or dysregulated, fostering the opportunity to practice handling emotions in a safe, healthy, and productive way.

How can I create a calm-down corner?

Calm-down corners come in many shapes and sizes, and there is no right or wrong way to create a calm-down corner that is appropriate for your child. Have your child help you create his or her calm-down corner, if able, to ensure he or she has a stake in its creation and use. Begin by choosing a space that can be available to your child whenever he or she needs to decompress. Some example “corners” include an empty or non-distracting corner in a shared living space (such as a living room or dining room), a small tent or canopy in the child’s bedroom, or a designated mat for the child to sit or lay on in another quiet area of the home.

After selecting a location for your child’s safe space, remove distracting or harmful objects from the immediately vicinity. Since your child will be visiting this area whenever he or she is experiencing big emotions, you’ll want to ensure the area is not only soothing, but also safe. Begin by adding comfortable pillows, mats, and blankets to the space, as well as activities or objects that your child may use to self-soothe. Examples include stress balls, fidget spinners, coloring pages and art materials, journals, books, sensory play materials, and stuffed animals (Lantieri, 2008). Your child should be encouraged to participate in the creation of the space, including any unique items or activities that he or she may find appealing and enticing when upset.

Additionally, it is helpful to set brief and explicit guidelines for appropriate use of the calm-down corner. Some parents choose to add a timer in the space to ensure children spend enough time calming down, though this is not required. Provide your child with an overview of all activities, toys, or tools available within the space and how to use them, as well as any rules for the area (though these should be limited). Appropriate rules include “using the [calm-down corner] only when needed” or only allowing one child at a time in the space during sibling conflicts (Maich et al., 2018).

When should my child be encouraged to visit his or her calm-down corner?

Your child should be encouraged to visit his or her calm-down corner whenever he or she deems necessary. The calm-down corner is intended to provide your child with a safe, soothing, and inviting space to practice coping mechanisms before things escalate (Perry, 2020). If you notice that your child is overly agitated, frustrated, or overstimulated, encourage him or her to regain control by relaxing in the calm-down corner, or selecting an activity to do that can only be found in the corner. It is important to emphasize that the calm-down corner is to be used for regulating emotions in a safe way, not as a punishment. The goal of the calm-down space should be for your child to “learn to identify, regulate, and cope with their emotions on their own” without judgment or punishment (Finch, 2019).

After your child visits his or her calming space, it is important to check-in with your child about the feelings he or she was experiencing prior to visiting the space, his or her feelings / emotional state now, and how the calming corner may have helped with understanding and processing these feelings. Open dialogue allows your child the opportunity to talk through his or her feelings with a trusted adult in an effort to understand what happened, how they felt, and how to handle similar situations moving forward (Perry, 2020).

References

Finch, M. (2019, July 25). Everything You Need To Know About a Calm Down Kit. Autism Adventures. http://www.autismadventures.com/everything-you-need-to-know-about-calm/.

Lantieri, L. (2008). Nurturing inner calm in children. Encounter, 21(3), 32-37.

Maich, K., O’Keefe, C., van Rhijn, T. M., & Davies, A. W. (2018). Relaxation Station, Zen          Zone, or Cozy Corner. The Bulletin, 62(1), 26-27.

Perry, C. (2020, May 26). How to create the perfect calm-down corner at home.           https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/how-to-create-a-calm-down-            corner-at-home/.