On watermelon seeds

I know why the seeds are there–so we have more watermelon next summer. What is not entirely either clear or purposeful is why genetic biologists want to create a watermelon with seeds that are not seeds. Certainly, seeds make the watermelon more difficult to eat, but they also make the watermelon more interesting to eat because they are the legal thing that one might spit with impunity and not get yelled at by anyone, especially your mom. I find those black tear-drop shaped seeds to be aesthetically pleasing as they dot the ruby-red flesh of a summer watermelon. Watermelon is a metaphor for summer–sweet, juicy, the perfect desert to accompany the sunny heat of August. As a child, I remember eating watermelon in the park with all my fellow summer recreation dropouts and spitting the seeds everywhere. To deprive twelve-year-olds of the pleasure of spitting by inventing a watermelon without seeds is diabolic and heartbreaking, depressing one might say. I mean, creating a genetically useless fruit is the ultimate insult because it eliminates part of the pleasure of eating watermelon. Why is progress measured simply by making things easier when this does not necessarily mean better?

On watermelon seeds

I know why the seeds are there–so we have more watermelon next summer. What is not entirely either clear or purposeful is why genetic biologists want to create a watermelon with seeds that are not seeds. Certainly, seeds make the watermelon more difficult to eat, but they also make the watermelon more interesting to eat because they are the legal thing that one might spit with impunity and not get yelled at by anyone, especially your mom. I find those black tear-drop shaped seeds to be aesthetically pleasing as they dot the ruby-red flesh of a summer watermelon. Watermelon is a metaphor for summer–sweet, juicy, the perfect desert to accompany the sunny heat of August. As a child, I remember eating watermelon in the park with all my fellow summer recreation dropouts and spitting the seeds everywhere. To deprive twelve-year-olds of the pleasure of spitting by inventing a watermelon without seeds is diabolic and heartbreaking, depressing one might say. I mean, creating a genetically useless fruit is the ultimate insult because it eliminates part of the pleasure of eating watermelon. Why is progress measured simply by making things easier when this does not necessarily mean better?

On just before midnight

The day was hot, very hot, sweaty hot, but now it’s dark everywhere, the lights are on and the witching hour is almost upon us. The heat of the day lingers in the bricks, eminates off of the concrete of the sidwalks, and still softens the tar of the streets. Midnight is still no refuge from the white hot sun of July. You might hide out in your air-conditioning, behind double-paned glass, closed curtains, but heat is what July has, even at this hour of the night. Many of us cannot console our sleep well enough in order to drop off, so we haunt the late night, watching old movies, reading books, drinking water, and taking cold showers in hopes that we might be cool enough to fall asleep. It’s a struggle. The darkness is a minor consolation–at least we don’t need sunscreen to sleep. The day winds down into the darkness, and the creatures of the night stir, ready to run in the thin night air, unafraid of the lingering heat of the day. There cries, shouts, sometimes pathetic, sometimes savage, which hang in the dark, inexplicable and haunting, disembodied and fragmentary, not words, really, but strange pre-historic wails and barks. The heat hangs on like a stray dog with no where to go. People sit on benches and chat, knowing that going home is much worse than staying out late.

On just before midnight

The day was hot, very hot, sweaty hot, but now it’s dark everywhere, the lights are on and the witching hour is almost upon us. The heat of the day lingers in the bricks, eminates off of the concrete of the sidwalks, and still softens the tar of the streets. Midnight is still no refuge from the white hot sun of July. You might hide out in your air-conditioning, behind double-paned glass, closed curtains, but heat is what July has, even at this hour of the night. Many of us cannot console our sleep well enough in order to drop off, so we haunt the late night, watching old movies, reading books, drinking water, and taking cold showers in hopes that we might be cool enough to fall asleep. It’s a struggle. The darkness is a minor consolation–at least we don’t need sunscreen to sleep. The day winds down into the darkness, and the creatures of the night stir, ready to run in the thin night air, unafraid of the lingering heat of the day. There cries, shouts, sometimes pathetic, sometimes savage, which hang in the dark, inexplicable and haunting, disembodied and fragmentary, not words, really, but strange pre-historic wails and barks. The heat hangs on like a stray dog with no where to go. People sit on benches and chat, knowing that going home is much worse than staying out late.

On a hot summer night

Last night I couldn’t get to sleep at all, to coin a phrase. It is summer, course, and this is what summer is about: not sleeping because it’s just too hot–the bed is hot, the room is stifling, and no matter what posture you adopt, it is uncomfortable. Your neck is sweaty and sticky. Your head pounds just enough to keep you awake. You roll onto your side, trying to find that perfect posture that will bring sleep. Nothing. The minutes tick by. Maybe you should get up and read for a bit? Maybe a cold shower? Maybe you should eat something? You ponder all of this and all of a sudden you realize you have been in bed for an hour and you are still awake. The summer insomnia of a hot July night has you in its grasp, and you are helpless to escape. Once you realize what is going on, you not only can’t get to sleep, you now know that you can’t get to sleep. You have become self-aware of the problem, and sleep has sailed away into the night, leaving you on the shore of consciousness with no hope of getting off of that beach anytime soon. You obsess with being awake, which, of course, just aggravates the situation. In the meantime, morning is getting closer and closer, the night is still hot and humid, and now you are the only one still awake except for a few night creatures who wake up after dark. The garbage truck comes by. A few partiers are finally returning home after a long night debauchery and dissidence. You should be asleep. You should be doing your best simulacra of death, but you can’t, and you catch of glimpse of Phoebus nudging up to the horizon.

On a hot summer night

Last night I couldn’t get to sleep at all, to coin a phrase. It is summer, course, and this is what summer is about: not sleeping because it’s just too hot–the bed is hot, the room is stifling, and no matter what posture you adopt, it is uncomfortable. Your neck is sweaty and sticky. Your head pounds just enough to keep you awake. You roll onto your side, trying to find that perfect posture that will bring sleep. Nothing. The minutes tick by. Maybe you should get up and read for a bit? Maybe a cold shower? Maybe you should eat something? You ponder all of this and all of a sudden you realize you have been in bed for an hour and you are still awake. The summer insomnia of a hot July night has you in its grasp, and you are helpless to escape. Once you realize what is going on, you not only can’t get to sleep, you now know that you can’t get to sleep. You have become self-aware of the problem, and sleep has sailed away into the night, leaving you on the shore of consciousness with no hope of getting off of that beach anytime soon. You obsess with being awake, which, of course, just aggravates the situation. In the meantime, morning is getting closer and closer, the night is still hot and humid, and now you are the only one still awake except for a few night creatures who wake up after dark. The garbage truck comes by. A few partiers are finally returning home after a long night debauchery and dissidence. You should be asleep. You should be doing your best simulacra of death, but you can’t, and you catch of glimpse of Phoebus nudging up to the horizon.

On ants

Vade ad formicum! Not being a scientist who studies ants, I can’t tell you a lot of the little creatures except that ants seem to live just about everywhere–red, black, grease, fire, carpenter. They form a social colony not unlike a small army, working tirelessly from sun up to sun down. Obviously the writer of Proverbs thought well of their work ethic. In Texas we have the wonderful fire ant, a devil of a creature that stings with a fiery bite that will leave you with tears in your eyes. My life in Minnesota was always haunted by small red ants and large black ones. We always knew that spring had sprung when little ant hills began to appear again between the stone flaggings in the walkway out to the street. Winter was a time for hibernation and sleep. I was always amazed at the social structure of an ant hill–workers, soldiers, nursery attendants–each going about their work in order to advance the survival of the colony. I always felt that stepping on an ant was a really low thing to do since they were so harmless. On the other hand, I have no qualms about poisoning an entire colony of fire ants–no mercy from me. The fire ant does not seem to have any redeeming qualities. Nevertheless, having ants inside your house is not a picnic, even if the ants want to make it one. Intelligent little creatures, the various kinds which store grain for food know that they must eat the heart of the seed lest it germinate while in storage and destroy the colony. How do they learn that stuff?

On ants

Vade ad formicum! Not being a scientist who studies ants, I can’t tell you a lot of the little creatures except that ants seem to live just about everywhere–red, black, grease, fire, carpenter. They form a social colony not unlike a small army, working tirelessly from sun up to sun down. Obviously the writer of Proverbs thought well of their work ethic. In Texas we have the wonderful fire ant, a devil of a creature that stings with a fiery bite that will leave you with tears in your eyes. My life in Minnesota was always haunted by small red ants and large black ones. We always knew that spring had sprung when little ant hills began to appear again between the stone flaggings in the walkway out to the street. Winter was a time for hibernation and sleep. I was always amazed at the social structure of an ant hill–workers, soldiers, nursery attendants–each going about their work in order to advance the survival of the colony. I always felt that stepping on an ant was a really low thing to do since they were so harmless. On the other hand, I have no qualms about poisoning an entire colony of fire ants–no mercy from me. The fire ant does not seem to have any redeeming qualities. Nevertheless, having ants inside your house is not a picnic, even if the ants want to make it one. Intelligent little creatures, the various kinds which store grain for food know that they must eat the heart of the seed lest it germinate while in storage and destroy the colony. How do they learn that stuff?

On instinct

There was a short piece on the main editorial page of the New York Times (Sept 3, 2013) called “Empty Barn-Rafters” that discussed the recent departure of one man’s barn swallows. I have swallows as well which live on my back porch during the spring and early summer. They work tirelessly to build their nest on top of the large round thermometer which hangs just inside the overhang which shades the back porch. After they have built their nest, they proceed to raise a couple of broods of chicks. By the time the second group fledge towards the end of June, they are tired–pooped out, literally. I would know because I’m the guy who cleans up the poop.They spend the rest of summer eating and playing, swooping across the summer sky, defying the laws of physics, hanging in the air, sitting on the power lines, contemplating the world from their high perches. Yet, as the Times writer so apply described, at some point in the late summer, they just up and leave all at once–no stragglers allowed. Of course, we describe swallow behavior, their nest building, the fledging of their young, their migration habits, as instinct, mostly because we understand so little about the actual mechanisms which drive them to be swallows. Ornithologists have their theories and hypothesis about how the birds do what they do, but I prefer to simply think of them as neighbors, not the subjects of my latest study. People have neighbors, and sometimes those neighbors are not the two-legged variety. The swallows that nest on my porch don’t talk to me, but they do keep me company from about mid-March to about the end of August, but then one afternoon they just simply aren’t there–the editorialist got it exactly right. My back porch is now empty. When this happens, as it must each year, I take down the used nest, wash away the mud and eliminate all traces that the birds have been here, but not because I mind their presence, but because the empty nest reminds me that my bird neighbors are off to their winter roosts in Latin America somewhere. I like to imagine that my counterpart in Costa Rica has just noticed that his swallows have returned to winter in his backyard, happy they are back, delighted to see those sleek, dark forms sliding across the sky. I am sure that there is some absolutely logical and sensible reason which explains how the swallows know when to leave. At some point each summer, they get together, discuss a departure day, agree on a date, and then leave all together, leaving my porch and yard a very empty place. Since I travel a great deal, gone for extended periods, I cannot have my own domestic pets, so I allow my swallows a bit of space to nest and live. I know summer is over when their small, sleek forms are just gone. A quiet falls over the place, the pigeons, the grackles, the cardinals, don’t move on, but they don’t really keep me company either–they never get that close. As fall and winter set in during the next few weeks, the waiting begins. About six months from now, they will be back, and on a cool, windy, rainy day in March, a small, sleek, dark figure will flash past my window to let me know that vacation is over, and their work has just begun.

On instinct

There was a short piece on the main editorial page of the New York Times (Sept 3, 2013) called “Empty Barn-Rafters” that discussed the recent departure of one man’s barn swallows. I have swallows as well which live on my back porch during the spring and early summer. They work tirelessly to build their nest on top of the large round thermometer which hangs just inside the overhang which shades the back porch. After they have built their nest, they proceed to raise a couple of broods of chicks. By the time the second group fledge towards the end of June, they are tired–pooped out, literally. I would know because I’m the guy who cleans up the poop.They spend the rest of summer eating and playing, swooping across the summer sky, defying the laws of physics, hanging in the air, sitting on the power lines, contemplating the world from their high perches. Yet, as the Times writer so apply described, at some point in the late summer, they just up and leave all at once–no stragglers allowed. Of course, we describe swallow behavior, their nest building, the fledging of their young, their migration habits, as instinct, mostly because we understand so little about the actual mechanisms which drive them to be swallows. Ornithologists have their theories and hypothesis about how the birds do what they do, but I prefer to simply think of them as neighbors, not the subjects of my latest study. People have neighbors, and sometimes those neighbors are not the two-legged variety. The swallows that nest on my porch don’t talk to me, but they do keep me company from about mid-March to about the end of August, but then one afternoon they just simply aren’t there–the editorialist got it exactly right. My back porch is now empty. When this happens, as it must each year, I take down the used nest, wash away the mud and eliminate all traces that the birds have been here, but not because I mind their presence, but because the empty nest reminds me that my bird neighbors are off to their winter roosts in Latin America somewhere. I like to imagine that my counterpart in Costa Rica has just noticed that his swallows have returned to winter in his backyard, happy they are back, delighted to see those sleek, dark forms sliding across the sky. I am sure that there is some absolutely logical and sensible reason which explains how the swallows know when to leave. At some point each summer, they get together, discuss a departure day, agree on a date, and then leave all together, leaving my porch and yard a very empty place. Since I travel a great deal, gone for extended periods, I cannot have my own domestic pets, so I allow my swallows a bit of space to nest and live. I know summer is over when their small, sleek forms are just gone. A quiet falls over the place, the pigeons, the grackles, the cardinals, don’t move on, but they don’t really keep me company either–they never get that close. As fall and winter set in during the next few weeks, the waiting begins. About six months from now, they will be back, and on a cool, windy, rainy day in March, a small, sleek, dark figure will flash past my window to let me know that vacation is over, and their work has just begun.