On steak

“Are we having steak for dinner tonight?” The answer was “yes.” Sometimes I eat steak with a little salt and pepper, and I’m unapologetic about that–no ketchup though, then I would be apologetic. Sometimes I don’t eat steak, but I do hate tofu and can’t figure why anyone would eat it on purpose. The texture is otherworldly and the taste is disappointing, to say the least–it tastes like something dead. On the other hand, there is something which is creepily primitive,but totally satisfying, about eating the flesh of other animals. I think this may be one of my blind-spots, which is goofy, but I’m not sure. Raw oysters really blow my hair back. I like my steak rare, leaning to very rare, burned on the outside and ruby red on the inside, salty. As an omnivore, I like to eat a little bit of everything, although lately I’m for setting the chickens free since the modern industrial chicken tastes like chemicals and not chicken. I don’t eat chicken. Fish, I love fish–tuna, cod, walleye. I’ll eat the six ounce steak on the menu (or I’ll even cook it myself), but I would turn down almost anything larger than that. Digesting animal flesh is hard work, although the payoff if very high. You don’t want to have steak at every meal–the experience would get old really quickly. I like the cut to be either a T-bone or a ribeye. I like nice marbling and juicy meat. There is nothing like putting a nice big steak on the grill, well-seasoned, and sharing it with the other omnivores. I had a big, leafy, green salad last night, and I still feel a bit hungover from that. Oh, one might be a vegetarian, which is a more ethical position, certainly a more defensible one than killing animals for their meat, but I like to eat a little bit of everything.

On steak

“Are we having steak for dinner tonight?” The answer was “yes.” Sometimes I eat steak with a little salt and pepper, and I’m unapologetic about that–no ketchup though, then I would be apologetic. Sometimes I don’t eat steak, but I do hate tofu and can’t figure why anyone would eat it on purpose. The texture is otherworldly and the taste is disappointing, to say the least–it tastes like something dead. On the other hand, there is something which is creepily primitive,but totally satisfying, about eating the flesh of other animals. I think this may be one of my blind-spots, which is goofy, but I’m not sure. Raw oysters really blow my hair back. I like my steak rare, leaning to very rare, burned on the outside and ruby red on the inside, salty. As an omnivore, I like to eat a little bit of everything, although lately I’m for setting the chickens free since the modern industrial chicken tastes like chemicals and not chicken. I don’t eat chicken. Fish, I love fish–tuna, cod, walleye. I’ll eat the six ounce steak on the menu (or I’ll even cook it myself), but I would turn down almost anything larger than that. Digesting animal flesh is hard work, although the payoff if very high. You don’t want to have steak at every meal–the experience would get old really quickly. I like the cut to be either a T-bone or a ribeye. I like nice marbling and juicy meat. There is nothing like putting a nice big steak on the grill, well-seasoned, and sharing it with the other omnivores. I had a big, leafy, green salad last night, and I still feel a bit hungover from that. Oh, one might be a vegetarian, which is a more ethical position, certainly a more defensible one than killing animals for their meat, but I like to eat a little bit of everything.

On onions

Why I have never written about onions is a little bit mysterious–even to me. I’ve been eating them my whole life–white, yellow, red, green. Yes, onions bite back, but that’s why us onion lovers eat onions in the first place–for the bite. Onions are strong stuff, which is why they are so lovely and enchanting. Certainly, they give you dragon breath, but all of us who eat onions are willing to stipulate to that, keeping a bottle of mouthwash at hand. Onions are a vital ingredient in thousands of dishes–soups, stews, hot-dishes, casseroles, sauces. Fried onion rings are delightful, but those of us who eat onions, eat them because they are raw, brutal, raging, fiery, violent. The release of endorphins that we experience upon eating the hottest of onions is what we live for. Onions are strong food, not for the weak of heart, not for the wishy-washy or bland who want to eat gray food their entire lives, never being driven to tears by their food. We also eat jalapeños, limburger cheese, and menudo, looking for that same food high. You can have your macaroni and cheese, your tuna hot dish, or even chicken fried steak, none of which is hot and bothersome. We eat onions because we want our food to fight back. Yes, onions have layers, but a true onion lover cares nothing for subtlety. We love garlic, super-picante salsa, burny hot sauce, and any other food which might make you cry. I love onions. I make no apologies. A hamburger is just not a hamburger without onions on it.

On onions

Why I have never written about onions is a little bit mysterious–even to me. I’ve been eating them my whole life–white, yellow, red, green. Yes, onions bite back, but that’s why us onion lovers eat onions in the first place–for the bite. Onions are strong stuff, which is why they are so lovely and enchanting. Certainly, they give you dragon breath, but all of us who eat onions are willing to stipulate to that, keeping a bottle of mouthwash at hand. Onions are a vital ingredient in thousands of dishes–soups, stews, hot-dishes, casseroles, sauces. Fried onion rings are delightful, but those of us who eat onions, eat them because they are raw, brutal, raging, fiery, violent. The release of endorphins that we experience upon eating the hottest of onions is what we live for. Onions are strong food, not for the weak of heart, not for the wishy-washy or bland who want to eat gray food their entire lives, never being driven to tears by their food. We also eat jalapeños, limburger cheese, and menudo, looking for that same food high. You can have your macaroni and cheese, your tuna hot dish, or even chicken fried steak, none of which is hot and bothersome. We eat onions because we want our food to fight back. Yes, onions have layers, but a true onion lover cares nothing for subtlety. We love garlic, super-picante salsa, burny hot sauce, and any other food which might make you cry. I love onions. I make no apologies. A hamburger is just not a hamburger without onions on it.

On pizza

Is it just way too easy to write about pizza? I will eat pizza anytime, anywhere, hot or cold, fresh or day-old out of the refrigerator. Pizza has, perhaps, as many incarnations as it has cooks and connoisseurs, with meat, with cheese, with red sauce, with capers or anchovies. I like deep-dish with a thick luxurious crust, but I also like a quick-bake, paper thin cracker crust as well. Is pepperoni the unifying ingredient that links all pizza recipes together? Or is mozzarella the undergirding tune that links all pizza recipes on a universal stage? Some people like their pizza with all sorts of ingredients, including the kitchen sink. Others like their pizza simple with a little sauce, a little cheese, and maybe a hint of basil, uncomplicated. I like my pizza as fresh as possible, so I like to bake my own. Boxed pizza from the supermarket’s frozen food section will do in a pinch, but I’d rather not. For me, the ideal pizza will be deep dish with black olives, sausage, mushrooms, onions, green peppers, pepperoni laid out on a luscious bed of aromatic tomato sauce and covered with a fresh blanket of mozzarella, baked until it is a steaming mass of wonderfulness. Cold beer to accompany.