On onions

Why I have never written about onions is a little bit mysterious–even to me. I’ve been eating them my whole life–white, yellow, red, green. Yes, onions bite back, but that’s why us onion lovers eat onions in the first place–for the bite. Onions are strong stuff, which is why they are so lovely and enchanting. Certainly, they give you dragon breath, but all of us who eat onions are willing to stipulate to that, keeping a bottle of mouthwash at hand. Onions are a vital ingredient in thousands of dishes–soups, stews, hot-dishes, casseroles, sauces. Fried onion rings are delightful, but those of us who eat onions, eat them because they are raw, brutal, raging, fiery, violent. The release of endorphins that we experience upon eating the hottest of onions is what we live for. Onions are strong food, not for the weak of heart, not for the wishy-washy or bland who want to eat gray food their entire lives, never being driven to tears by their food. We also eat jalapeƱos, limburger cheese, and menudo, looking for that same food high. You can have your macaroni and cheese, your tuna hot dish, or even chicken fried steak, none of which is hot and bothersome. We eat onions because we want our food to fight back. Yes, onions have layers, but a true onion lover cares nothing for subtlety. We love garlic, super-picante salsa, burny hot sauce, and any other food which might make you cry. I love onions. I make no apologies. A hamburger is just not a hamburger without onions on it.