How can something so useful be such a pain in the ass? I imagine email is probably a question of boundaries–when at work, use it as a tool to solve problems, when you are at home, don’t look at it at all or it will take over your life, eat you alive. Some people like to use massive emails to hurt and intimidate others because you really can’t win an argument over email, and if you do argue over email, you are just as foolish as the person with whom you are arguing. Emails from vendors are annoying, and I frequently erase almost all of them without even opening them. Junk email is just weird foolishness. I wish student would observe even a modicum of formality in their emails–I am not a friend or family member to whom they might send just any old thing. Given that it takes time to sort out what someone wants in their email, people should be more careful when they write their email. The first question I would ask is, is email the best way to handle whatever might be in play? And I would never write an email unless I wouldn’t mind seeing its contents on the front page of the Dallas Morning News. Nobody should even think of emailing anyone about anything if they are under the influence of intoxicating beverages. Email is the ideal place to get a good rumor going or to really mess up a good relationship by writing an ambiguous or easily misunderstood message. I think it all goes back to two things: is this email really necessary and how bad are my writing skills. The problem with the language in an email is that we spend so little time writing it that we are prone to simple errors and misunderstandings. The only thing worse than bad writing is bad reading, and if we spend almost no time writing an email, we spend even less reading one. All of this “speed” is a recipe for disaster. I write fast, you read fast, we haven’t the slightest clue as to what has happened, but we can be certain that good communication has not occurred. Trying to solve a complicated problem via email is a total disaster. Digitally mediated communication is an open invitation to miscommunication. Email is frequently the coward’s way making their cowardly opinion known to all. It’s a lot like striking someone from behind and then hiding your hand as if you were innocent. The most annoying thing in email, besides junk email, are jokes that get forwarded to you via friends and family who mean well, but have no idea how insulting and stupid their jokes are. There are a lot of “inappropriate” jokes out there which racist, sexist, biased, and insensitive, and I just don’t need any of that cluttering up my inbox, which is always full anyway. I don’t need a lot of useless crap cluttering up my already full inbox. Email should be a tool by which you spread useful information to students: announcements, syllabi, deadlines, explanations. It should not be someone’s personal soapbox from which they express a lot of hateful or hurtful opinions. So I have this love/hate thing going with my email. I know which kinds of things should never be written, not even in jest, but I also see the utility of sending out useful information to an entire list of students who might be traveling to Spain this summer. What I cannot expect, especially in summer, is that people will always answer an email right away. Since I am apt to answer an email almost right away, I am frequently disappointed when my emails go unanswered. Email is just fraught with difficulties, problems, ambiguities, and failure. Writing emails in which you complain about anything is just a waste of time, and may get you fired in the meantime. Email can be so problematic that I refuse to solve any human problem by just sending an email. If I have to deliver bad news, it’s always best to do it in person. Now, if you want to have coffee, you may invite me via email. When I see forty-five unanswered emails in my inbox, I just cringe and wonder what I did to deserve this. Is there a morale to this story? Probably not, except that the next time you decide to write an email, I hope you think twice before doing it.