On hats

You can tell a lot about a person by the hat they (don’t) wear. I’m not talking about the silly bit hats that the English ladies wear to their formal horse races, nor am I talking about actors in gangster films with their standard gangster hats. Or am I? A lot of people wear hats to protect their heads–fire fighters, race car drivers, cyclists, astronauts, football players, construction workers, but some wear hats to identify who they are–baseball players, policemen, mountain climbers, stalkers, nuns, graduates, professors. Lots of guys in college wear hats, but if it’s not to cover up a bad hair day (no shower), I have no idea why they do it. I wear hats to keep the sun off of my head. I have a variety of caps and hats that protect the delicate skin of my skull. Skin cancer is such an ugly thing. As I keep the sun off of my pate, I also stay cooler. The sun in Texas and in Spain is very, very hot, and often a hat is the difference between making it from the office to the car without fainting in the 100 degree heat. People seem so much happier when they wear hats. In spite of the heat and sun, almost no one wears a hat in Spain, unless it’s a barrette, which you see on farmers from the north. The local Guardia Civil has its traditional tricorn hat, but they also have more modern head gear as well. Most women hate hats (other than the previously mentioned English racing fans) because it will flatten out their hair. When I lived in Minnesota, necessity was always more important than style, and women have numerous hats to keep their heads and ears warm. In cold climates, hats are particularly important because frostbite, like cancer, is such an ugly thing (and it hurts!). Experience has taught me that keeping a baseball cap near is always a good thing, regardless of the circumstance. Some shun hats because they are not in style, but I would suggest that head gear of any kind can save you from harm, sunburn, rain, snow, frostbite, falling rocks, errant birds (and their poop). One should always take one’s hat off inside, especially in churches, restaurants, and home. Never wear a hat in bed, especially when a raincoat might be more appropriate. Rappers wear lots of hats, sometimes making a statement, sometimes not. The all-time best hat may be what deep-sea divers wear, although Russian winter hats are very impressive. I like Indiana Jone’s hat, but the most elaborate hat award goes to the Pope. Are hoodies hats? The whole world wonders. A final thought: if your baseball cap is greasy, stained, smelly, and worn out, should you throw it away?