On "no name" post

Who says you must have a topic when you write. Topics, thesis sentences, are way over-rated. I listen to people talk on cable news, and they don’t have anything to say, but they sit and blather on and get paid for it. So tonight I am opting for the “no theme” option. I’m not going to talk about new stadiums, or basketball, or primaries, or anything else that might be in the news. I’m going to focus on nothing at all. Now one would think that this would be easy, but trying to write about nothing at all is harder than it appears. You first must flush everything out of your brain drain that has been stuck there since you wrote yesterday, and there’s a lot of flotsam and jetsam floating around in that trap. I can’t write about budgets, wars, sexism, drug cartels, dog food ads, home shopping networks, Wisconsin, Rush, Rick, Mitt, summer-like weather in March, spring training, football, birth control or voter fraud. Those are topics, and I’m not writing about any of them. Of course, more mundane topics such as potato chips or dogs are also off the table. Spring break is off the table. I am tempted to write about going on vacation, or trying to stop a leak in one of our bathrooms, but I shall refrain from any of that to maintain this note free of content. To focus on nothing is to really focus on everything, and then brush everything out of your mind. I’m not going to worry, complain, criticize, critique, ponder, mull or ruminate on anything but the emptiness of this meditation. I’m not going to use any literary tropes, metaphors or synecdoche to express the universal emptiness of a note about nothing that is slowly rotting over a very slow heat. Let the vultures make their nests on the balconies of the presidential palace, I just won’t go there. I won’t write about decadence, chaos, or dust. Nothingness is an ideology all of its own, nestled comfortably between nihilism and contrariness. Why does everything have to be about something? What about not getting upset, about not worrying about the next thing, and letting go of the latest cause célèbre? So I write about nothing: not the apple that Adam ate, not the computer that Gates built, not about turning the double play. Clean slate, no topic, nothing, null set, zero, a void, dark matter, vacuum, empty set. (That last sentence doesn’t even have a verb.)