One would think that writing about relaxation would be a walk in the park, but I am so stressed out. My good Minnesota-Lutheran ethics just won’t allow me to relax because relaxing is the same as being a good-for-nothing bum. If you aren’t working, you are slacking! Yet, if I work all the time, I get to the point where I start forgetting to do things, get cranky and ornery, and I become ineffective. But if I relax for a moment I feel guilty, and I need to get back to work. What is wrong with me? Really, what is relaxing, anyway, but not working? I know that all work and no play make Jack a dull boy, but what does that really mean? Nothing but questions tonight, and I am afraid of the answers. For example, let’s just say that I want to sit and read a book that has nothing to do with research or teaching, drink something tasty, and put my feet up. I might even let my book down and doze for a few minutes, letting my glasses fall into my book and my head droops to one side. I might even get a snack that is not only not nutritious, it is downright bad for me. Potato chips would be a good choice. Maybe some salted peanuts. So I just let that pile of exams sit for a day and smoulder. The grass in the yard needs mowing, there are dirty dishes on the counter, the taxes need finishing. There is always something else that needs to be done. Now I don’t want to obsess over this issue of relaxing, but I still find the whole idea of sitting down and not doing something useful to be rather stressful. What if someone sees me relaxing, watching old re-runs of ancient black and white sitcoms? I have heard that relaxing can lower your blood pressure, brighten your outlook, and improve mental health. Who studies relaxing? Seems like a bit of a paradox: it’s as if that paper, by definition, would never get written. Maybe I’ll put on a little music to lighten the mood. Where are my slippers? Maybe I still have some caramel corn left over from Christmas. Should I start to read The Hunger Games tonight? Relaxing is going to damage my self-image, but I think it is something I would like to try, at least once or twice. And if I practice and I like it, I might try again, but without the guilt. Naw.