In the text, A First Look at Communication Theory, written by Em Griffin looks at the different theories and different approaches to building a theory. In chapter 5, the theory of self, more importantly, the “Looking-glass self” was addressed. Essentially this theory explains how we act based upon how others think about us. In more general terms, we judge ourselves based upon what we think others think about us. Sometimes these predictions are true and others can lead us down a path of lies. Although I have only been on this earth for Twenty two years, I have learned a good amount, but more importantly, I have reflected on the past chapters in my life to see what I have done and how I can improve myself. One of the most awkward times in anyone’s life is middle school. For me, Middle school was attempting to look cool for other people. A major part of this was physical but a lot was mental. I had an image of cool based on what my friends deemed were cool and I tried to follow it. I wore hightop Nikes and T-shirts that were two sizes too big because I thought that my friends thought it made me cool. My assumption of what others thought about me changed how I acted and communicated with others on a daily basis. As a direct result, I was focused on the me and disregarded the I factor in my own story.

The term Looking-glass self is defined as “the mental self-image that results from taking the role of the other.”(57) In this context, the other just means the other people around you. The looking-glass self has three steps, the first is how you appear to others, the second is what others think of you, and lastly how we tend to revise how we think about ourselves. This theory brings up thoughts about the self. The self is divided up into two categories; the I and the Me. The I is “the subjective self [or] the spontaneous, driving force that fosters all that its novel.”(57) In plain English the I is how you act without any pressures. It is just you being unpredictable and acting out. The Me is defined as ” the objective self… the image of self seem in the looking glass of other people reactions,” or the image that its seen when you take on the role of the other (57).

The Looking-glass self is an important theory to understand when attempting to establish yourself into a leadership role. With so much going on and so many factors influencing one another, it is crucial the right message gets across and you are real and open with the people you are leading. The looking glass self is the image that one assigns him/herself based on what they think others think about them. Therefore, if you are super harsh on someone who is working for you, but you are harsh because you see their potential and want to help them reach it, they might think you are harsh cause you don’t like them. Another way they could decipher this is you are harsh because they are not good at their job, which will inevitably lead them to hate coming into work and eventually moving onto the next opportunity. The I is difficult to find because when you are looking for it is disappears. The I is the spontaneous self that has no filter, nothing in the way of you just being you. I believe that the ‘Me’ is more important to understand when leading than the I. The I is great to understand but the ‘me’ is going to help you influence and understand people on a deeper level. When you are leading it is important to understand how the other sees you and how they think of you. By understanding the me, you can see yourself and understand why people act a certain way when addressing you.