Family Boundaries

Boundaries are important in our every day lives, especially when it comes to family. Often times we experience overbearing family members who give us no space or privacy. Establishing boundaries is a great way to develop healthy relationships. In an article and podcast by Clare Marie Schneider and Julia Furlan they speak about establishing and maintaining these boundaries with family. Setting boundaries can look different to every person depending on what they are. Whether it is a privacy issue or even setting boundaries with abuse or toxic family members it is important to maintain them. Even if they do shift over time.

Griffin brings up Sandra Petronio and her study on  Communication Privacy Management Theory, she tells us the first principle of it. “The first principle of communication privacy management theory is quite clear: We see it as ours, we believe it belongs to us.” (147). This means that view private information as our property. Further more, “CPM maintains that five factors play into the way we develop our own privacy rules: culture, gender, motivation, context and risk-benefit ratios.” (147) all of these affect how people interpret and manage their lives. Another good point made by saying that, “Thus, those who own private information should consider carefully before sharing it with others…” then goes onto say that co-owners of the information, “That doesn’t mean, however, that they perceive an equal responsibility.” (149). This is important to take into consideration when sharing things with others.

The article linked above is a good way to start to understand the Communication Privacy Management Theory. First and foremost privacy is important to everyone. It allows us  to feel independent and in control of our information. This is why it is important to establish boundaries even with family. Like stated in the book culture, gender, motivation, context and risk benefit ratios play into it. In American culture we value individualism and freedom which is why we can keep our information private. In my experience as a female, when it comes to the gender aspect my parents expect me to give them information about me even though I may be uncomfortable with it. Some information just does not be need to be released unless its necessary.  Additionally sometimes the risk of telling family members private information is just not worth it. This is especially true when you have toxic or abusive family members. This explains how we view and see the life that we live, and how we develop rules in regards to our privacy. When you release that information its not just yours anymore and not everyone views that privacy the same way. For example if you share information with one family member they will most likely share it with another even if it is against your wishes. This is why it is important to maintain your boundaries or say that there will be consequences if family tries to disregard yours. Although in America there is a negative view of having consequences for family, especially when it comes to completely cutting them off. Yet it is important to do what is best for you. Finally, another point that is important to understand is that it is ok for your boundaries to change overtime. They can get stricter or loosen up overtime, as long as it is up to you.

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