Abuse is a heavy topic for anyone to discuss. Often times people look at abuse victims and think why did they not just walk away? Although, it is not that simple. In this article by Rhonda Freeman, she discusses how the brain can work against abuse victims. She talks about the chemicals that are released in order for us to form bonds like dopamine, oxytocin and a few others. Freeman also discusses trauma bonds, cognitive dissonance and how to eventually break trauma bonds and the best way to do it. All of these are why it is so difficult to leave abusive partners.

According to the text Griffin defines Cognitive dissonance as, “The distressing state caused by inconsistency between a persons two beliefs or a belief and an action.” (194). This means that it is two conflicting thoughts or beliefs that cause this mental state. Another point made was that, “The fox’s retreat from the grape arbor clashed with his knowledge that the grape was tasty. By changing his attitude toward the grapes, he provided an acceptable explanation for abandoning his efforts to reach them.” (194). This goes off of the definition that Griffin gave. He changed his attitude to give up on the grapes even if he knew they were good. A final point made was that, “… Festinger and his followers focused on attitude change as an end product of dissonance.” (203). Meaning that dissonance and your mental attitude about something is the product of dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance can be a way to understand abuse victims, the actions that they take and why they do what they do. What goes on in our minds is very complicated but thanks to the article you can understand it better. There are multiple chemicals that affect how we form attachments and its not easy to just get rid of. Some that were previously mentioned cause longing, craving, bonding and dependence. In abusive relationships it is very emotionally charged meaning that these can affect us more. Because these relations are often times with partners or families it leads to an addiction to the relationship, making it that much harder to leave it.  This can also cause cognitive dissonance. Freeman gave an example of a relationship and the victim was between the thoughts of he was a horrible person and that he was a good a man. The woman knew that what he did was toxic and abusive but changed her attitude that he is a good man and he did not mean it. These two thoughts are very contradictory. People in these situations also put blame on themselves which does not help and they self-deprecate or even make excuses. There are many steps to help like given in the book. Outside help can also reduce cognitive dissonance, such as inducing compliance by helping them get away. Additionally, things like selective exposure can help a lot. The best way ( but hard to do in practice because victims are isolated from everyone) is to completely cut contact, this way your brain can not release any of the chemicals that cause attachments.

Understanding culture is important to understand a company or organization. Every company has a unique culture and some are very memorable, but not always in a good way. One great example of this is Enron. Almost every one has heard of this organization who quickly rose just to collapse. One major contributor being the toxic culture of the organization.  It had an overcompetitive culture that lead to mistrust, fear, and lying among employees of the company.  The only thing that was cared about was making more and more money. If employees did not meet the expectations they were removed and replaced very easily.

Griffin talks about  culture in organizations. In one instance he states that, “For Pacanowsky, the web of organizational culture is the residue of employees’ performance- ‘those very actions by which members constitute and reveal their culture to themselves and to others.'” (283). Meaning that the culture affects how employees perform and it is very visible. Additionally, “The only way to reduce the puzzlement is to observe as if one were a stranger in a foreign land. This can be difficult for a manager who is already enmeshed in a specific culture” (239). From the outside or if you are new the culture can seem weird or wrong, but people who have been in the organization for so long are intertwined in the culture. This point is further proved by,  “These rituals are nearly sacred, and any attempt to change them meets with strong resistance….”  and goes onto say that, “… organizational rites at more traditional companies weave together many threads of cooperate culture.” (243). Each organization has its set rituals and customs and many do not want to change it because it is so entwined in the culture of the organization.

All organizations have their own unique culture. Although, in Enron’s case they stood out because the company’s culture also lead to its downfall. Not all cultures are good. How the employees performed also affected the culture. For one no one was really truthful in their upward or downward communication.  There was also a sense of over competitiveness between employees, they often times would not communicate with each other as well, by being very secretive. Many of the employees were constantly stressed with the threat of being fired constantly. It was a very cutthroat atmosphere. The last two points made by Griffin can also be understood by studying Enron and its culture. As seen in the article, from an outward perspective Enron had a very toxic culture and was a very deceitful company. Additionally, employees were very stressed as it was not a good environment. Managers thought the culture was “good” probably with how much money they were making. Because of this, they never wanted to change it and continued to encourage the employees to keep doing what they were doing, even if it meant stepping on each others throats. This is the same with the rituals and rites  of Enron. Executives did not want to change the way the company was and the actions taken by these executives also reflected Enron’s culture.

Boundaries are important in our every day lives, especially when it comes to family. Often times we experience overbearing family members who give us no space or privacy. Establishing boundaries is a great way to develop healthy relationships. In an article and podcast by Clare Marie Schneider and Julia Furlan they speak about establishing and maintaining these boundaries with family. Setting boundaries can look different to every person depending on what they are. Whether it is a privacy issue or even setting boundaries with abuse or toxic family members it is important to maintain them. Even if they do shift over time.

Griffin brings up Sandra Petronio and her study on  Communication Privacy Management Theory, she tells us the first principle of it. “The first principle of communication privacy management theory is quite clear: We see it as ours, we believe it belongs to us.” (147). This means that view private information as our property. Further more, “CPM maintains that five factors play into the way we develop our own privacy rules: culture, gender, motivation, context and risk-benefit ratios.” (147) all of these affect how people interpret and manage their lives. Another good point made by saying that, “Thus, those who own private information should consider carefully before sharing it with others…” then goes onto say that co-owners of the information, “That doesn’t mean, however, that they perceive an equal responsibility.” (149). This is important to take into consideration when sharing things with others.

The article linked above is a good way to start to understand the Communication Privacy Management Theory. First and foremost privacy is important to everyone. It allows us  to feel independent and in control of our information. This is why it is important to establish boundaries even with family. Like stated in the book culture, gender, motivation, context and risk benefit ratios play into it. In American culture we value individualism and freedom which is why we can keep our information private. In my experience as a female, when it comes to the gender aspect my parents expect me to give them information about me even though I may be uncomfortable with it. Some information just does not be need to be released unless its necessary.  Additionally sometimes the risk of telling family members private information is just not worth it. This is especially true when you have toxic or abusive family members. This explains how we view and see the life that we live, and how we develop rules in regards to our privacy. When you release that information its not just yours anymore and not everyone views that privacy the same way. For example if you share information with one family member they will most likely share it with another even if it is against your wishes. This is why it is important to maintain your boundaries or say that there will be consequences if family tries to disregard yours. Although in America there is a negative view of having consequences for family, especially when it comes to completely cutting them off. Yet it is important to do what is best for you. Finally, another point that is important to understand is that it is ok for your boundaries to change overtime. They can get stricter or loosen up overtime, as long as it is up to you.

In the age of social media, we have expanded our social networks through different platforms. Some connections are strong and we can feel close to a person, while others are weak. In the article by Lara Otte she talks about making real connections through social media. Social media allows people to have more opportunities to connect to others personally. Sometimes these connections can just be superficial, but it can also come with a negative impact on ourselves, Such as getting trolled or bullied by random people. Otte concludes that more apps are becoming available where we can make true connections with others.

There are multiple ways that the Media Multiplexity theory can be used to understand relational ties that are made through social media. According to Griffin, “Instead, what differentiated strong ties from weak ties was the number of media the pair employed. Greater tie strength seemed to drive greater numbers of media used.” (161) This means that the more ways that someone has to connect to another the stronger their relationship is. Additionally, “Haythornthwaite would say that the launch of Facebook created latent ties, or “connection[s] available technically, even if not yet activated socially.”” (164) There are multiple opportunities to connect with others on social media. Another good point is that, “the content of communication differs by tie strength rather than medium.” (165). So the way you speak depends on how close you are to another, it does not depend solely on what media you use to communicate.

In all, we can make great connections with others online. It is something that takes time and effort to form. We have a multitude of ways to create new connections. There are so many platforms like, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter that we can use to connect with new people. Forming a relationship on just one platform is a pretty weak tie, but the more we connect with that person the stronger the relationship is. What we talk about can also strengthen the ties we make with one another. For example if someone likes star wars that can be a talking point. That can be a way to grow closer to one another because of a shared interest. If you talk about something that one person does not like then the conversation will not go that far. As a result of that, you will not be able to really connect with the other person. If the situation was like this then it is just a superficial relationship. Additionally, we often just like photos or make a comment on some. Some times people get the idea that this is forming a connection with a person when it really is not. When you do this, you are not really trying to get to know the person. Finally, when you first start talking to someone online, it kind of seems awkward at first. This goes with any social interaction but sometimes it is harder online. Although the more you start to form ties, the topics can change to something you both mutually like. Meaning that your ties to the other person have strengthened.