The problem with Emmerich’s prehistoric epic about the clash between stylishly primitive nobles and debased Egyptians isn’t the lack of historical veracity or even the pseudo-mythic silliness, but rather the fact that it’s dull. Try as I might, I couldn’t get into the dusty, warmed-over romantic fixations of what is essentially a very handsome cave-couple. And, while I did appreciate the scope of Emmerich’s impressive long shots of the massive pyramid city under construction—complete with thousands of slaves of both the human and wooly mammoth varieties toiling away—and his willingness to hold the camera on them, rather than hacking the film to ribbons ala Michael Bay, beautiful shots of a fantasyland version of Egypt alone do not a great (or even good) movie make. (Hollywood Jewel 16, Waco, TX)