Kevin James was easily the best thing in Hitch, but when given the chance to headline his own comedy feature (which he also cowrote) he comes up short. What we have here is basically a seven-minute Saturday Night Live sketch awkwardly drawn out to 85 minutes. There are a few funny moments here and there, but its mixture of sad-sack pathos and goofy Die Hard and Rambo parodies makes for a rather weird mixture. And, honestly, what criminal gang sets out to rob an entire mall … on BMX bikes and skateboards? (Hollywood Jewel 16, Waco, TX)