Oh, for the gift to see ourselves …

One of the most helpful (and unnerving) aspects of the Summer Teaching Institute a few years ago was when Bob Baird videotaped each participant delivering a lecture, then played that lecture back for all of the Institute fellows to see.

Oh my …

Do I really leave most of my sentences incomplete? Do I really jump around with my topics like that? Is it the camera or that hideous jacket that makes me look so fat?

The video was a good catalyst for me to examine HOW I present material in the classroom. And I hope I’ve gotten better since then.

Meanwhile, I am one of the four subjects of film-maker David Licata’s latest documentary, “A Life’s Work.” David’s quest is to find out what drives the people who undertake mammoth tasks that they know they’ll never finish. My personal Herculian task is to digitize a copy of every piece of black gospel vinyl released between 1945 and 1970. To that end, I co-founded and help administer The Black Gospel Music Restoration Project here at Baylor University.

David filmed me while I conducting research in Chicago for my book on the influence of black sacred music on the Civil Rights Movement. Amid the interviews with gospel artists, Freedom Riders, activists and pastors, he caught me looking for rare gospel vinyl at a used record store in Hyde Park.

The documentary is probably still a year away from release, but he posted that three-minute clip on YouTube, if you’re interested:

Watching it, I had the same reaction: Oh my … again … when did I get so old (and chunky)? And worse, do I still ramble like that when I lecture?
So much of teaching IS the presentation. I can have great content and if I’m not engaging, compelling, interesting as someone who is conveying that information, then why should the students stay engaged?
The clip has made me aware — once again — that their attention is NOT a given. I have to earn it. I need to continually strive to have my words, demeanor, tone, even posture and body language match the enthusiasm I still feel for conveying what I believe is important, potentially life-changing information.
P.S. To see more of David’s work, check out
The photo above is image grab from an interview I’m doing with the Rev. Reuben Burton in Chicago.

9 thoughts on “Oh, for the gift to see ourselves …”

  1. I’m so glad they weren’t videotaping it when I did my teaching demo at the Summer Faculty Institute! I shudder at the thought of watching it.

    David’s project sounds fascinating! One of those great topics that I wish I’d thought of…

  2. Check out David’s site, Chris. We may can wrangle him to speak to a class or two when he’s in town (with his cameraman) in early April!

  3. Yes, please! I’m teaching a grad seminar in documentary this semester, and I’d love to get a chance for them to engage with him on issues of objectivity/subjectivity, etc.

  4. Watching (or listening) to oneself can be a gruesome challenge indeed–but it’s helpful to remember that even the very best performers have trouble with that. There’s something about knowing that *you* made all those choices (or failed to) that makes the experience tough to bear. That’s not to say none of us can improve. Of course we can. But the mirror can lie in more ways than one, especially if you’re the one looking into it.

  5. When I did the infamous Summer Teaching Institute, I remember thinking that I was doing a REALLY good job – until the other faculty started critiquing it. Oh boy – while the comments were generally supportive, some really hurt! When I was thinking about the comments, I realized that I could use much of the criticism constructively. Other comments, however, I chose to ignore – addressing them would have meant changing me. So, don’t criticize yourself too much – we all judge ourselves too harshly. Instead, congratulate yourself on choosing such a worthwhile project, and remember that many people think you are wonderful.

  6. If it helps, from a student’s perspective, I thought you were an excellent lecturer. You have no idea how much of the stuff you taught us sticks with me, both from Intro to Comm and Magazine Writing. I always found your presentations organized, engaging and interesting. Your efforts to constantly update your lectures were appreciated by many, and I know for a fact that a lot of fellow students carried a great deal of respect for you. Glad I stumbled upon your blog! Hope things are going well.

  7. You are too kind, Ashley. But I appreciate your words very much. We’re always our own harshest critics … (unless we go into politics or administration!).

  8. Your interview and the on-the-fly footage is quite easy for me to edit because you answered my questions thoroughly, thoughtfully and, when appropriate, passionately. There’s very little rambling, which drives editors crazy. I think the camera also picked up that intangible, “presence.”

    Though I have never been in your classroom, it’s easy for me to imagine what kind of teacher you are. I’m with Ashley

  9. Hello!

    I am a filmmaker in Austin and Gussie Oscar is one of six women being profiled in an upcoming documentary. I would welcome the opportunity to speak with the author of this blog.

    Thank you!

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