“When I lost my boyfriend August 4, 2016, I stepped back and reevaluated where my time is going, what my priorities are, what I’m studying in school, my career path, and I thought, ‘What’s important?’ Loving people is important.” Lauren Rosen transferred to Baylor shortly after her long-time boyfriend, Baylor student Jared Frame, died from complications of an unexpected illness. As she became part of the Baylor family, she reflected on the best ways to build community and strengthen relationships, and she shared some of this journey with us:

Instead of following the more traditional route of joining various clubs, teams, and Greek Life, Lauren decided to commit to reaching out consistently to both old and new friends by scheduling significant time on her calendar each week for developing relationships. “I’m good at one-on-one very personal interactions, and I didn’t think organizations were a good way for me to carry that out. I have found that through blocking out time for others I’ve been able to reach out to people who were struggling and be the person who is consistently there. I’ve also been able to see what somebody is doing really well and recognize that they need to be celebrated for it, and I have time – so we go out and get ice cream or whatever it may be. That’s been the way I’ve gotten involved. It’s not technically an organization but I kind of think of it that way – of investing time in people on a very personal level instead of a large scale in the community.”

Through these experiences, Lauren has learned about the value of reciprocity in relationships: “I had never thought of what it might be like to speak to somebody whom you didn’t know much about, and so I had underestimated the importance of sharing about myself and being vulnerable to the people from whom I was hoping for vulnerability. So if someone were planning to follow a similar path to mine, I would encourage him or her to be prepared to be vulnerable. That increases the depth of the relationships really quickly.”

Despite Lauren’s apparent wisdom and earnestness, this journey hasn’t always been easy: “The thing that has been a struggle is wondering, ‘Am I missing out? Am I doing something wrong?’ But then I look at why people choose to join [Greek Life and other organizations]: community and relationships. And I’m accomplishing the same goal in a way that fits me best, so it’s a decision I’ve stood by and really benefitted from.”