CONFLICT

I remember when I was a kid and my best friends and I would be hanging out, something would be said or done, and a fight would break out.  I was typically not involved in it because I have never been one who enjoyed or desired to participate in fighting.  In fact the only memory I have of being in a fight was a very small one in which my friend and I were in our club house (a big washing machine or dryer box his parents gave him after their recent purchase) and something was said or done and he started hitting me, and I made my way out of the box, and very frustratedly told him that if he couldn’t work out problems without feeling the need to hit me, then we couldn’t be friends anymore (except I probably did it a bit more incoherent and flustered, being a 7 year old and all).  Well needless to say, we continued being friends, being neighbors and all, and we remained friends until I moved away.  I did not come from “that” family who had several boys who liked to beat up on each other, throw each other in trash cans, vandalize each others stuff, or maim each other in the name of familial love.  I grew up with an older sister, a mother who worked in Special Education, and a father who was and still is in student ministry in the church.  I was raised to solve conflicts in way that extinguished anger, brought peace, and resolution without suffering (which makes me sound like Yoda).  Have I always been perfect or even good at this?  No.  By all means, I’m still sinful, but we, through humility and repentance, can and ought to strive for peaceful resolutions amongst conflict, especially with our brethren in the Church.

Conflict is going to be a reality in our world today.  Between Facebook, academic papers/presentations, magazines, articles, journals, and blogs we are going to offend someone simply by affirming a belief, proposing a question, being funny, romantic, or sarcastic…we will cause conflict.  How we solve such conflict reflects what we believe about Christ and how we live out our theology.

There are many “hot button” issues that have been and will continue to escalate into the forefront of discussion…and conflict.  Issues such as homosexuality, women in ministry, American politics, the authority of scripture, predestination, end times, alcohol, marijuana, sacraments, church politics, etc…

When it comes to friendship, what role does our theology take?  Theology indeed can unify and it can divide even the strongest of friends.  The impact one’s theology has on their ability to create and maintain friendships is in direct correlation to how much one believes his/her theology establishes right relationship with God.  We are more naturally inclined to befriend people with whom we have commonalities.

To what extent, pragmatically speaking, can an egalitarian relate and commune with a complementarian, an outspoken “Christian homosexual” with a conservative Deacon, a calvinist and an arminian, someone for WIM (Women In Ministry) vs. a Conservative (only men in the pastorate/eldership), an inerrantist with someone who has a much looser stance/view of scripture, a charismatic with an secessionist, or any other such combination of theologies?  We are going to have conflict.  It’s not going to go smoothly.

GRACE

We are not perfect, they are not perfect.  We are meant to walk by faith.  Knowing we are wretched sinners drives us to this conclusion; when it comes to interacting with each other from different theological realms we are going to believe our theology and stand firm in it, and because the majority of believers desire to become more conformed to the image of Christ, His grace needs to be at the forefront of our personal interactions with people with all, especially with those with whom we disagree.  Even though we may disagree with individuals, this ought not be an invitation to berate or assault a brother or sister in Christ if they are indeed a part of the brethren.  This does not mean we do not correct or discipline them that teach what is false and brush over it just to “keep the peace.”  Our desire is to teach in accordance with scripture and if someone teaches that which is in conflict with scripture then they are self-deceived and the truth of God is not in them.  Paul said to the Galatians, “But when I saw that their conduct was not in step with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all…” (Galatians 2:14) – Paul publicly corrected Peter, a disciple who walked and talked with Jesus.  Correcting was always and should always be done with reconciliation and grace being extended.

When we disagree, we are often moved initially towards prideful criticism of the character and position of the person in question in order to make our view appear superior.  We can often come across as appearing as though we are more capable of complex critical thought and that the other person’s position is so ridiculous or “offensive” having ought never to have been voiced.  I understand that not everything I say is going to be orthodox, and when I say something stupid, I am more appreciative and tend to be less defensive towards people who correct me in grace, who display through their concern for my soundness of theology, an attitude of love and respect towards me even though I may be wrong.  Rather than approaching correction with an attitude to being shame upon the person, respond to them, no matter how brash their own assertions, with an attitude of love and you will see the brash veneer melt away.

REJECTION

“For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

- 1 Corinthians 1:18

There will be those who disagree with us and there will be those who despise the very foundational gospel we preach and thereby we become an enemy to them.  The true gospel will draw people to Christ or it will repel them from Christ.  Great is the repulsion of those who taste and see the goodness of the LORD and it is only bitterness in their mouths.  The gospel is foolishness to those who are perishing.  This repulsion leads to many times to different reactions.  A few specific reactions to draw upon:

1) Repudiation - the individual is led to utterly despise Christianity and the Church.  They turn against the very source of joy and salvation in favor of their own lives.

2) Distortion – the true gospel is distorted to fit the culture one lives in, distorted to appease the people they have surrounded themselves, and/or distorted to fit their desired sense of morality and truth rather than to submit themselves to the Truth.  Romans says this is when they suppress what is really true, replace the truth of God for a lie, they turn and worship creation rather than the creator (Roman 1:18-23).

3) Vilifying  -  individuals who not only disagree with the gospel, but who believe what we preach is dangerous to the health and happiness of others will often, well-meaningly, decide to take up arms against the gospel, seeking to destroy its influence and affects.

You ever have those gifts you get that you open up Christmas Day and the first thing you think is, “Clearance Aisle?” At that moment you realize that the person didn’t put in any thought whatsoever into buying you that present and what do you do with it? You regift it? You return it? You throw it away? You put it in a closet somewhere never to be seen again until you move or die. Then there’s those gifts you get from someone who goes to the tree and grabs the gift themselves or pulls it out from their bedroom personally to make sure it’s safe and that it makes its way straight to your hands. You open it and the giver has their eyes fixed on you awaiting your grateful reaction with eager anticipation. You open the gift and you cherish it, you’re overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness, the time, money, energy, and love they put into the gift. The gift builds a stronger love between you, not because of the gift itself, but the love shared through the gift. Those are the gifts we keep, the gifts we continually use, save, and cherish for years to come.

Often we treat God’s gift of Himself as a half hearted gift bought on the clearance aisle and replace it with the things we provide for ourselves. We don’t cherish the gift nor the giver like He desired when He gave His most precious gift. We treat His gift with disdain and contempt. Bonhoeffer calls this “cheap grace.” This isn’t a legalistic thing that we have to change the things we DO necessarily in and of themselves. Because I can also tell the gift I put a lot of thought into that are not received with the love and gracefulness that I desired but the person acted so grateful but you can tell when they’re not really grateful for your gift because it’s not something they think they wanted or they view your gift as insignificant or meaningless to them. Do we treat God’s gift like this? Do we pretend to be grateful because we don’t want to offend God but we really see His gift as lesser in light of what we can do for ourselves? Are we so out of touch with the heart of God that we are not drawn close to Him and pure and passionate intimacy is built between us?

How do we view this with hope and not simply guilt and feeling bad? God desires us. He loves us and invites us into intimacy with Him to cherish the gift and – most importantly – the giver, so that we He reminds us of the gift, we are drawn into intimacy with the giver. “I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” Luke 2:10

If you know me, or have read anything I have out there, you’ll know that my theology is more on the side of what’s known as “reformed” (typically known for believing in predestination or more formally known as “Calvinism” or known historically as “the doctrine of justification”). I have had MANY conversations in seminary, with friends, and with family about this belief and the consequences of believing this way, and some of the difficulties in perceived contradictions to this. Some of the more well known scripture passages that some have a difficulty reconciling is John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, so that whosoever would belie in Him, should not perish, but have eternal life.” But don’t forget the next verse “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.” And another in Romans 10:13 (quoted from Joel 2:32) which says “And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be those who escape, as the Lord has said, and among the survivors shall be those whom the Lord calls.”

The word “world” is a term which has multiple meanings. It was said of Jesus that “the entire world” was following after Him. Now obviously this does not mean that every single individual in the world was going after Jesus. The “world” can, and often times does, refer to God’s overall creation. God came to this world as fully-God and fully-man in Jesus not to “condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him…” Jesus came not just to rescue individuals, but His very creation as well. This is why in eternity the earth will be restored and we will dwell with Him on the new earth, not floating on some cloud up in the “heavenlies” somewhere. He will restore that which was broken, both sinful nature and the material creation. “In a latter part of Romans, Paul wrote that ‘all Israel will be saved (11:26). A bit earlier he wrote that only ‘a remnant chosen by grace’ (11:5) will be saved out of Israel. He then proceeds to show us that ‘all the world will be saved…[via] a remnant chosen by grace,’ then why can’t we say that ‘all the world will be saved via a remnant chosen by grace’? This, I believe is the intent of John 3:16 – God so loved the world so much that he sent his Son to save all believers (not those who will die in unbelief). His mission was to save the world, not condemn it. And because of the elect international remnant, the world is, in fact saved!” – Michael Horton “Putting Amazing back into Grace.”

Often times points are best illustrated through stories. I am not the best story telling, but here goes nothin:

Imagine with me…two tribes, the Spoodikacks and Monokallos were opposing forces. A long time ago in a galaxy far far away… …the great ruler Mpampa built a great fortress for his people to dwell in harmony. However, the fortress was now ruled by the oppressive Spoodikacks. Within the great fortress were Monokallos whom Mpampas desired to rescue. So he sent his best, brightest, and purest soldier, Heroas, in to fight in order to rescue the ones he assigned for Heroas to rescue. Upon their rescue, Mpampas deployed his forces to completely destroy the forces within the great fortress by poison, fire, and acid in order to dissolve the stench of evil and death from its walls and restore it to its former glory.

The LORD’s plan for his creation has always been the rescue of His people/kingdom (those who believe, who are called according to His purpose, predestined for adoption as sons and daughters of God), the destruction of sin and evil, and the restoration of His creation. Jesus died to save “those whom the Father draws” to rescue His people and restore His creation on a holistic scale, not simply a vague generalistic “offer” He threw out there for people to accept of reject as if His kingdom were made up of the “fittest” of humanity that somehow had the strength and ability to choose God.The reality is we are all corrupt, “none choose good, no not one.” If no one chooses good, how is even one person able to, left to their own devices, able to choose the greatest good in the universe, namely God? He/She can’t. It is utterly, improbable/impossible. Simply because no one left to their own devices WOULD choose God. Our very corrupted nature is at odds with God and His goodness. It is only by the divine providential choice and redemptive work of God that we are given the ability to know Him. He rescues us. “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should bear much fruit and that your fruit will abide…” (John 15:16). So God DID/DOES love the world (His creation) so much that He gave His only begotten Son, that “those He chose and appointed them that they should bear much fruit (John 15:16), those whose names are written in the book of life, which was written before the foundation of the world” (Revelation 13:8, 17:8), “those He chose in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him [having] predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace” (Eph 1:3-5),” should not perish, but would have everlasting life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world (His creation), but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.” This is not to say that God doesn’t condemn the world. It is saying that the mission of Jesus was to come to earth to be “the propitiation” to save those whom the Father had predestined from the foundation of the world.” By His sacrifice on the cross and His resurrection from the dead, God redeems those He loves, and pursues through His Holy Spirit those who are “not His people” making them into “His people,” the kingdom of God. Then at the end of time, He will return and redeem and purify His creation back to its original glory and splendor for His people to dwell with Him forever.

The doctrine of justification is not speaking to those who are “not His people” necessarily. The usual emotional response – and refutation – given by those who oppose this doctrine usual appeal is to assert such statements as “my god wouldn’t do that” or “that’s not fair” or “he offers salvation to everyone” or other such philosophies that may or may not originate in scripture, and mainly appeal to the emotion and wisdom of men, not the clear teachings of divine scripture and orthodoxy. Some are chosen to glorify God through their redemption and glorification – to receive that which they do not deserve, and the rest God has destined to be recipients of His divine justice (Romans 9) to receive exactly what they deserve “the due penalty of their actions” (Romans 1:27). The grace of God is not something universal and cheap. It is intentional and very costly, and what was costly to God cannot be cheap to us or treated nominally.

Some never marry out of fear of “buyers remorse.” Do any of these sound similar to why many might be afraid of marriage?

“The anxiety may be rooted in various factors, such as: the person’s concern that they purchased a current model now rather than waiting for a newer model, purchased in an ethically unsound way, purchased on credit that will be difficult to repay, or purchased something that would not be acceptable to others.

In the phase before purchasing, a prospective buyer often feels positive emotions associated with a purchase (desire, a sense of heightened possibilities, and an anticipation of the enjoyment that will accompany using the product, for example); afterwards, having made the purchase, they are more fully able to experience the negative aspects: all the opportunity costs of the purchase, and a reduction in purchasing power.

Also, before the purchase, the buyer has a full array of options, including not purchasing; afterwards, their options have been reduced to:
- Continuing with the purchase, surrendering all alternatives
- Renouncing the purchase.
Buyer’s remorse can also be caused or increased by worrying that other people may later question the purchase or claim to know better alternatives.”

Yes, I’m aware I just compared relationships to consumerism, but flip these words on their head…how many of us single folks are still single because we view relationships like this…as if we’re a consumer? The harsh reality is, for many of us, we ARE consumers in a romanticized culture obsessed with selling us the latest, greatest, best, and fastest results now. Why do you think there are so many dating sites out there? It’s all about me me me, what I want, who I am, and what I want in a relationship that matters. Rather than serving, love, honoring, forgiving, and sanctifying someone else, it becomes about how “attractive” a person is before I ever get to know them (yes I’m guilty), and then about how they meet MY qualifications for a future spouse based upon “are they the most appealing physically, are they the personality traits I want, do they have ‘features’ that fit my lifestyle, will other people in my life approve of this person, what are things I might possibly ‘regret’ about marrying this person, and will I be happy and satisfied by my decision?”  Yes it’s sad and to see it so plainly really appears heartless and ruthless, but subconsciously how many of us actually think this way?  There’s the question…now here’s the answer…

I don’t know…. figure that one out, and let me know.

For me…I wanna talk to the couple who loves one another, the husband who serves and leads his family well, the wife who loves her family and honors her husband…I wanna talk to the married couple who is 80 year old and waddling down the side walk with a Bible in one hand and holding their beloved’s hand with the other as he opens his sweetheart’s door walking to church together.  My brothers and sisters in Christ, we must be done with consumeristic “christian” dating, pithy romanticism, and worldly conditional “love” based upon personal preference as if our future spouses were meant to be the ultimate satisfaction to life.  Jesus.  Love Jesus…not love Jesus first and you’ll earn a spouse…when we love Him, our affections are found in Him, when our attention is focused on Him, a marriage relationship fails in comparison.  It is only when marriage becomes secondary to Christ that we will ever truly know how to love someone…anyone…spouse, friend, family, stranger… Jesus!  Focus on Jesus!…and when your desires are His desires, He will give you the desires of your heart…Himself…but first He must become the desire of your heart.  If a spouse is the desire of your heart, you will get “spousal remorse.”  If Jesus is the desire of your heart, you will get Jesus.  Maybe you’ll have a spouse one day, but if you get Jesus, that won’t matter as much.

I am a progressive.  Immediately this word can spark flags on both sides.  On one side people might peg me a liberal with no regard for traditional – “conservative” – values, and on the other side that because I don’t agree with certain liberal agendas that I’m not really a “progressive.”

When I say progressive, I mean, I believe in the furthering development of new technologies, better more efficient energy, prosperity for businesses, increasing employment, thriving social services, equal rights for all races, gender, sexual orientations, and religious affiliation…BUT…doing all of this with little governmental involvement.  It seems Democrats are disgusted by the greed of the rich, and republicans are disgusted with the greed of the poor.  Greed is a reality of humanity as it always has been and always will be, there is no hope of that not being in the equation.  But we have to figure out what ACTUALLY works to thrive mankind.

A society thrives best where they are free.  Free to choose, free to dream, free to live, free to succeed, free to fail, and free to get back up again.  BUT people are only as free as they allow themselves to be.  A government who can give everything to their people, can also take everything away.  People receiving “free” money, services, and programs from the government are not free, they have made themselves dependent slaves to the government, and for many Uncle Sam has become their baby daddy.  I’ve heard the argument for democratic ideals “Do you not like your roads?  Do you not like public education?  Do you not like special programs/facilities?  Do you not like…_fill in the blank_  ?”  The question is not “do I like them?” the question is “who is going to pay for them?”  How much?  Are we borrowing it?  Are we raising it?  Is there a better way to get it?  If America goes bankrupt, we will lose them and if we are dependent upon them, we’re sunk.

“Democrats” presently like to accuse Republicans of being “Traditionalist, conservatives, holding America back from progress, from moving forward, and holding people back from true freedom”…however, historically and in the present reality this is not the case.  During the time of slavery, democrats made up a large majority of slave owners in the South, were at the forefront of opposition to the rights of women to vote, Civil Rights, and Equality in the 1950′s and 60′s.  Then and now they desire to hinder economic growth by putting penalties on the successes of businesses, taxing them until the only choice left IS to take their business overseas in order to not go bankrupt.  This does not sound like the “liberal progressive” movement that we are told about today.  Something is oddly distorted.  Liberals are saying Republicans are traditional and conservative, yet they are the ones historically who have desired to remain more traditional and “do things the way we’ve always done them.”  But this is not who American Republicans are.  Historically, we have been progressive, fighting for REAL social justice, equality in the work place, and freedom for the American people to have life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, by restricting the TRUE enemy to freedom…government.

In a new statement, Obama boasted “If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen,” insinuating that no business made itself, successful, but that it was the government who made them successful by their programs, roads, etc.  This type of logic would be like Fed Ex or UPS taking responsibility for the success of the iPhone.  Sorry US Government you’re not that special.  If you didn’t regulate the building of these roads a more efficient private company could probably do it quicker, cheaper, and with more advanced technology.

So why say “I am a progressive”?  Because I believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, for ALL people, even if I don’t agree with the way they choose to pursue these things in lifestyles I do not agree with nor approve of;  however, I believe you ought to be free to do so as an American.”

Theologically, as Christians, we must consider our lives and our government theologically.  A government who says “let’s take care of all of the poor people” sounds loving and may even sound like “Jesus,” but do not be deceived, no government can replace the church and charity organizations who work to devote their lives and businesses for the good of the poor, homeless, and destitute.  Christian, it is not the government’s job to do YOUR job!  Love radically, don’t rely on government programs like Ebeneezer Scrooge, “I help to support the establishments (poor houses, government subsidized “care” facilities); those who are badly off must go there…If they’d rather die, then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population.”  This inevitably becomes the reality of socialistic ideals (the direction democrats desire America to go) lived out.  An extreme view of socialism is when a human being becomes a “leech” upon society, they are no longer a viable source for the social good, they are no longer looked at with compassion, but as a virus.  This is why European socialism is trying to irradiate people with disabilities at birth.  If a baby has signs of mental or physical disability, they will simply abort it to not create a human who will only be a “taker” and not a “contributor” to social life.  The hyper-dramatic view of this is fascism, deciding on who is good enough to be the “survival of the fittest” by weighing them against opinion of what a human should be based upon genetics.

Republicans want true freedom.  Freedom to work, freedom to live, freedom FROM government, freedom to worship, freedom for Americans who love humanity to care for humanity, freedom for there to be competition, so there will always be technological advancements and real societal progress.

Democratic policy is oppressive to freedom, even though they promise the moon, remember, the moon is a large mass of material floating in outer space…democrats can’t give you the moon, it’s impossible to lasso and give it to you (no matter what you see in the movies)…so before someone promises you the moon, do your research.  “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” – Gal 6:7  Do not reap false promises and sow destruction for our great nation.